Lessons Learned From Somebody Else's Child

A friend used to ask his children every single night: What did you learn today? He was not looking for lessons learned in classrooms either. Rather, he demanded that his kids learn from all sorts of characters in their city and life.

 

Lifelong learners can have an "ah ha" moment while walking down the street; reading a newspaper, or listening to the chatter at the bus stop. That's because some truly terrific teachers have selected those venues to shine their lights.

 

 They are ordinary folk who share their mistakes, and air their grievances in ways that make us question our own positions. The best and brightest of them listen to us so we an unlock the answers inside our heart.

 

Now age 53, my teachers and coaches are frequently younger than I. It's a humbling experience. Still it keeps me on the ball and forces me to learn about youth culture and beliefs.

 

The New York Times has reported that many young people are taking Barack Obama’s middle name, Hussein, as their own:  Reporter Jodi Kantor found that many are informally adopting that name in an effort to do away with the unfortunate stigma that has been stamped upon it by biases gone wild.

 

“The result is a group of unlikely-sounding Husseins: Jewish and Catholic, Hispanic and Asian and Italian-American, from Jaime Hussein Alvarez of Washington, D.C., to Kelly Hussein Crowley of Norman, Okla., to Sarah Beth Hussein Frumkin of Chicago,” Ms. Kantor reported.

There is a sweet and yet bold logic to this youthful strategy. If you and I unite as one, no one can pull us apart.

In the past, our community has tended to address racism and bigotry by asking victims or targets to blend in and conform. It’s known as the melting pot theory. Stop wearing headscarves. Stop wearing natural hair. Stop using your Spanish. Stop “acting black.” Stop calling yourself African American. Here’s the pact: Be more like me, and it will be easier for me to accept you. That’s the deal. I’ll admit it is a good one if you don’t happen to be the one who is asked to give up your values, style, fashion or language.

Recently, some cultural communities have rediscovered what the Jewish people have known all along: Culture is a shelter that can keep us together when we are under attack.  It is not something that should be dismantled easily, as it provides sanctuary during life's storms.

Young people in Obama’s campaign have reversed that policy now, and shifted gears: If I'm more like you, then, perhaps, they’ll accept us. In other words, it’s OK to be yourself around me. Maybe I'll change sometimes. And you'll change sometimes..

To these young people: Bravo! Brava! Thanks for the lesson. .

 

 

Comments

[Lance_K]

Linda:

Sometimes I feel like I rain on a lot of your parades. I truly appreciate your positive way of looking at things. It’s just that I feel it is helpful to warn that our best intentions can backfire. Please excuse a few more raindrops below:

It is said that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but imitation can also be a complicated bridge to cross. When one culture adopts some small aspect of another culture, it should be seen as unifying and not turned into something divisive.

Those with and an “us versus them” attitude may not find imitation to be so flattering. An extreme example would be an article of clothing that serves as an indentifying mark for a gang. If one gang adopts wearing a red bandana on their head, that gang won’t take kindly to someone outside of their ranks doing likewise. The “pretenders” will likely be confronted and “asked” to cease wearing the similar mark.

When we adopt elements of another culture, will our own culture treat us as traitors? They may, and that will be an opportunity to teach others if we think ahead and have a response on hand. Will the copied culture resent the imitation and feel like they are being robbed of their uniqueness? Again, it would be an opportunity to teach. What will we say? It can take some good cultural skills to turn a divisive moment into a unifying one.