Cultural IQ

Learning to Speak 'The Obama Way'

 

                         

Photo credit: Freefoto.com

 

Change often chases a prophet: the person who first detects the acres of diamonds buried beneath the earth where disappointment and anger grow. The man or woman labeled “crazy” for walking around with a shovel long after the experts have concluded the field was a wasteland.

            We can tell these agents of change because they invest heavily in words that serve and promote the common good. We sense their arrival as we hear uplifting phrases that release us from the narrow prisons built by the common belief that life always is going to be this way.

            On Tuesday, millions around the world were awakened to possibilities and potential that seemed to arrive suddenly, as if by express mail.  African-American mothers saw in their boys, some for the first time, a chance for greatness. “You don’t have to be a rap star or a basketball player. You can grow up to be anything you want to be,” one beaming mom told a TV reporter. Tribal leaders from warring states saw what good can come from moving past the old battle grounds.

President Barack Obama’s legacy may have been shaped in the months before he took the oath of office. He is a chivalrous  communicator who has laid a strong foundation for a new style of conversation – one that welcomes dissent, relies on facts in evidence and promotes the kind of civil exchanges that can lead to innovation and brilliant discoveries.

As we enter the new era of cohesion and collaboration, it makes sense to peek into the Obama toolbox to see what lessons we find:

1)      Focus on the common good and use this as the cornerstone for community and business collaborations. 

         “We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things,” he said in his inaugural address to the nation. “The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.”

2) Instead of focusing on issues that divide people and groups (pay, salary, too few jobs), underscore interdependency and enlightened self-interest.(shared profits, economic growth)

“The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart – not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.”

3) Remind people of the huge investment their ancestors already have made - whether in a country, a job or company. Tell them this is their time to shine.

“Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause; the force of our example; the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.”

4) When discussing shortcomings or periods of strife, gladly share mistakes and life lessons.

“We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth. And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.”

5) Don't simply talk about fairness; demonstrate it with consistent daily actions. In his speech on race, then-candidate Obama spoke from the middle of the road, noting both whites and blacks had lessons to learn. The moment you pick a side, you lose credibility.

“In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. . . For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life.”

 6) When you must present critical information, don’t point fingers in public.  Leave those conversations for behind closed doors.

“What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply.”

7) Try, as often as you can, to catch people doing things right.

“We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions – that time has surely passed.”

8) Use inclusive language. For example, rely upon “we” rather than “us” and “them.”

“And those of us who manage the public's knowledge will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.”

9) Make everyone take ownership of the solution, regardless of whether they helped to create the problem.

“Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered.”

10) Help others to walk in the light of literacy and embrace their better selves.

“For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation lies.”

 

 

Opps! Are My (& Your) Biases Showing, Again?

 

Last year, a good friend helped me go house hunting.  Several blocks away from her home, we found a quaint little townhouse for rent. The blinds were open in the front window.  My friend, who is Jewish, went up to the window and looked in. She invited me to take a peek at the fireplace in the front room.

I stayed on the sidewalk, horrified she would even ask. "If someone passing by sees me looking into the window of an empty house, they are more likely to call the police," I said. “I’m black.”

She did finally convince me to look inside but I was looking over my shoulder for a police car the entire time.

As a reporter, I had people call the police on me while I was interviewing folks in white neighborhoods. Experience teaches African Americans survival skills. Innocent actions sometimes carry hefty penalties. A favor for a neighbor – like watering the plants – can end up getting you a ride in the back of the police car.

The next day, I called the owner of the house to schedule an appointment. Guess what he asked? “Did you look inside the front window and see the fireplace? I left the blinds open so people can see in.”

Two women look inside a vacant house in a town that is 90 percent white.  One is white; the other African American. Raise your hand if you truly believe that the consequences are the same. As we travel through life, reactions to us differ, and those responses, in turn, shape the way we see the world.

 

 

Let me pose some real-life situations. Select the response that most closely reflects your true beliefs. Your answers can help identify the assumptions you make about different groups.

1)      A white woman and a black woman arrive together for Sunday services at a predominantly black church. You assume:

·          They are a lesbian couple interested in joining the church.

·          They are friends who like to experience new people and places together.

·          The black woman is a caretaker for the white woman.

2)      Two young white men are peeking inside the back of a funeral home on a Friday night.  You assume:

·          They are planning a break-in.

·          They are kids with curiosity spurred by scary movies and they are trying to see what’s inside.

·          They are planning ahead for the future and scouting out suitable locations for burials.

3)      One evening, your dog starts barking and won’t stop. You look out the back window. There is a figure with a flashlight walking around in your backyard. You assume:

·          It’s a police officer checking out a report of a suspicious person.

·          It’s an old boyfriend or girlfriend who is spying on you.

·          It’s a bad person.

4)      You are at the movies or in a club. You are surrounded by same-sex couples enjoying their conversations. You assume:

·          This must be a gay club or the gay part of town.

·          This is a singles area.

·          This is an area that values loving relationships. Brothers, sisters and friends like to hang out.

      5)   You are walking down the street when two young black males approach. You assume:

·          You are about to be robbed.

·          They look friendly so you say “hello.”

·          You ignore them and pay them no mind.

      6)   You see an older Hispanic woman walking with a child. You assume:

·          She is the child’s grandmother.

·          She is the child’s caretaker.

·          She is the child’s mother.

7)      You are African American. You have been warned that a predominantly white suburb is anti-black and that you should avoid traveling there. You assume:

·          The information must be correct because “everybody believes it.”

·          The information may or may not be true. You seek data and research to determine if the belief has any validity.

·          You protect yourself by treating everyone you meet in this town with suspicion.

                     

8)       You meet a gracious man at the airport with a thick Southern drawl. He is wearing a t-shirt and jeans. You assume:

               ·         His job probably takes him around the world.

            ·          He is probably a construction worker.

·          This man most likely works on Wall Street.

9)      During the holidays, a family on your block puts up Christmas lights and the Menorah. You assume:

·          The family has members of both of Jewish and Christian faiths.

·          The family is wishy-washy and can’t decide on matters of faith.

·          The family celebrates and embraces a variety of religious customs and ceremonies.

10)  You read about a police shooting in the newspaper. An officer shot a Hispanic suspect. You assume:

·          The officer is white.

·          The race of the officer doesn’t really matter.

·          All police officers are the same.

      As you can tell from these questions, there are a variety of biases: gender, race, religion, color (light-skinned and dark-skinned), sexual orientation, age, job bias, and class to name just a few.

      Racial and cultural filters are helpful because they allow us to make quick decisions and judgments when necessary. However, if we rely upon our cultural shades and never take time to audit our assumptions and biases, we may end up discounting the beliefs of others, which may be equally as valid.

       Even a cultural coach has biases. I’ve uncovered most of them. Whenever my cultural shades click on, I try to ask additional questions and seek independent research. I talk to people who don’t share my point of view. And I perform cultural audits.

 For more information, click here:

CRASH: After a Cultural Collision Occurs, Then What?

 

Credit: Freephoto.com

 

 

The first few moments following a bad accident are critical. Motorists need to take a deep breath, remain calm and assess the damage and injuries. If we have been hurt, we need appropriate treatment from highly skilled emergency and rescue personnel.

 

 

If everyone keeps a level head, we have a far better chance of minimizing the damage, injuries and costs.

Easy to say and hard to do.

 

 

The rules that apply on the roadways of life apply as well to crashes of the cultural variety. Each time we step outside our comfort zones, we increase our risks of having cultural collisions. Our cultural shades and lenses create blind spots that make it harder to function. Outside of our comfort zone, we don't listen as well. It is more difficult to interpret the words and body language of the strangers we encounter with any accuracy.

 

 

The impact of cultural crashes can be so severe that bystanders and victims are both left in a daze.  We keep replaying the accident over and over again in our minds hoping, again and again, for a different outcome. No matter how much we want to take back our actions, we can’t. If we continue to focus on what’s already happened, we eventually get stuck. We’re unable to move forward, learn or to grow.

 

The city of Bellaire, TX, where I now live, recently experienced a CRASH, a scene so dramatic that it could have been ripped from the 2004 Academy Award winning film of that name. That film had a simple message: Prejudices and biases lurk in the corners of ALL our minds. We don't really know who we are until circumstances or crashes expose what’s inside of us.

 When the biases of two strangers emerge at the same moment, the conditions are right for an cultural accident or explosion. Though we may think we are colorblind, past experiences create blind spots that keep us from seeing the complete picture or thinking clearly. Old films continuously replay past encounters with racial groups in our heads and they confuse us. After a while, we can no longer tell what's really there or see what others are truly like.

 

 

In Bellaire, such a drama apparently unfolded after a 23-year-old African-American resident, Robbie Tolan, was shot by Bellaire Sgt. Jeff Cotton on Dec. 31 following an altercation. According to the city, the officer apparently received a false report that the vehicle driven by Tolan had been stolen. Tolan is recovering from his wounds in a local hospital. The matter is under investigation still; city leaders have remained silent but say some all the facts are not known.

 

I, too, am going to reserve final judgment on the shooting until I have all the evidence and data in hand. A belief that's not supported by fact or evidence is a bias. After you examine a belief, using  independent analysis and comprehensive research, then you arrive at truth. You see the difference?

 

So, what should we do after a crash occurs? Well, a community needs to start thinking about how to design and construct modern roadways that will keep us from bumping into each other and allow us to avoid costly, dangerous collisions.

 

If city leaders handle the situation right, Bellaire, its residents and its police officers can emerge from this tragedy as better neighbors and more culturally competent communicators. But first, residents are required to answer two key questions: What does this community stand for? What behaviors, beliefs and values will it pass on to its children?

No doubt, there is going to be litigation over this incident. That matter is best left to the Tolan family and the city. The rest of us – curious bystanders watching as another collision unfolds - need to start working on figuring out how to fix the intersection so, next time, nobody - not the police and not the residents – gets hurt.