Cultural IQ

Under Attack? Stay Calm and Look for Cultural Clues

My dog, Gabby, and I came under attack while on our morning stroll around the neighborhood. Three ferocious dogs muscled their backyard gate open and formed a circle around Gabby who immediately sat down and kept still.

She displayed absolutely no signs of aggression even though I still had her on the leash. I took my cues from her figuring she knew more about dogs than I ever will. My eyes stayed focused on her face. I couldn’t tell you what the attack dogs looked like – what breed they were, or color.

A little voice inside my head told me to plant both feet sideways between one of the dogs and Gabby. I summoned my deepest, scariest dog-owner voice and said firmly, “Get away.” I commanded the attackers to leave, again and again, pointing my finger in the opposite direction from where Gabby and I were headed. “Go away.”

Well, guess what. The leader of the pack turned and ran in that direction, with its two amigos right on its tail. When the pack’s owner came out to see what was going on, Gabby and I were standing our ground and the mean dogs were running like the wind.   “They went that- away,” I told the dogs' owner.

Never underestimate the power of a woman with a smart dog.

Many people today are stockpiling weapons and ammunition because they believe they are the answer to crime, terrorism and aggression. This story, however, demonstrates clearly that cultural intelligence - knowledge of the needs, beliefs, fears, values and desires of the people (or creatures) attacking us - is a reliable weapon though it is often overlooked.

If only we could go to a show this weekend to buy boxes of cultural intelligence for use during our next dispute or confrontation!  Well, we can’t - not yet.  For the moment, the only way to acquire it is to step outside of our cultural comfort zone. Intelligence is a dividend paid those who dare to reach across the faultlines of religion, age, gender and sexual orientation.  In a global village, it is both a secure investment and hot commodity.

Had Gabby and I not struggled earlier in our relationship, I never would have bothered to read books about animal behavior. If I had not attended dog training classes, my guess is I would be writing this post from my hospital bed. (One million people seek medical attention each year for dog bites.)

Clawing our way through a maze of differences is challenging, but one day the intelligence gained from those conflicts and tensions will do us - and our community - a lot of good.

The rules apply whether we are dealing with hate groups or growling dogs.  We need to use more brainpower and rely less on government, laws and law enforcement to do the heavy lifting for us.

Next time you are under attack, don’t reach for a gun - reach inside the store room in your mind for the intelligence that you have bought and paid for with trials and tribulations.

 I'll offer a few of my own rules and encourage you to contribute additional suggestions below:

1) Stand strong; don't show aggression and don't attack.

2) Check your emotions. Screaming, yelling and cursing will escalate the situation and increase danger.

3) Look to others in your pack for clues.  Follow the lead of the person (or dog) with the greatest expertise.

4) Be firm.  Decide you will not allow verbal attacks and demeaning words to change your mood or the way you feel about yourself.

5) If possible, seek win-win opportunities so every participant can save face. 

 

(If you have a question or wish to contact me, email me at theculturalcoach@aol.com)

Beware of Dogs (& Extremists) that Bite

  

LIFE LESSONS FROM THE DOG PARK

My sweet dog, Gabby, has been nipping at the heels of my new roommate. It’s about all social order, you see. Dogs need to know where they stand in a pack. When Gabby and I recently moved in with a friend, my dog started to stake out her ground. 

For the first few months Gabby and I were together, we had quite a battle going on. She wanted to sleep in my bed, eat my food and be me (except for the going to work part). Many of our arguments ended with me calling a friend to say, “That dog is crazy. She is going back to pound.”

As we learned each other's ways I was able to put her actions into context. Our relationship benefited as we gained cultural literacy and I learned how to lead.  Every pack needs someone to follow who is firm, dependable and courageous. It took a while for me to grow into the role.

My new roommate has been bending over backward to be polite to Gabby, which is a very human response. Gabby takes this kindness as a sign of weakness. So she has been jockeying to move higher in the pack. If she can’t be lead dog, then perhaps it's best to be second in command.

As this scenario plays out in my household, a similar drama unfolds on the national scene.  Since the election of President Barack Obama, the social order has been turned upside down, inside out. For decades, written and unwritten laws told us where we stood. “If you are black, get back. If you are brown, stick around. If you are white, you are alright,” or so I was told as a child.  Even though my parents told me I was equal, there was a constant struggle trying to convince that little voice inside of my head that I was as good as anyone else.

With the election of President Barack Obama, some Americans are grieving – not because their candidate lost – but because they fear a change in the social order. Our pack has a new leader and the adjustment is harder for some.

So we must prepare for some social misbehavior and acting out, just as I am seeing now with Gabby.  There will be those like Texas Gov. Rick Perry who will try to divide this country with their talk of secession.  There will be those like Chuck Norris who talk of a coming “second American revolution”. There will be hate groups and extremists who write stuff that would make their pastors blush on the Internet – and post personal attacks that remind us why our forefathers wisely created rule by laws that protect us from men (and women) temporarily gone wild.

Let me share just one of the many postings I found this week (on the Web site of a major metropolitan newspaper) and it was not the worst one:

“The political problems facing America are endemic. Until the Blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, Hispanics, Asians, homosexuals and other sorted undesirables are banned, the country will continue to exist as a sewer state. No amount of protests or tea party nonsense will change those facts. Tea parties are not the solution for what ails civilization. A Hitler-style cleansing movement is.”

 

For those who still aren’t convinced our flank is exposed, check out the April 2009 report from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security warning of a growing threat to this country from the armed rightwing extremists. As cities are buying back guns and trying to take them off the streets, supremacists and domestic terrorists are stockpiling assault weapons and ammunition like fruits and vegetables.

 

At present, diversity groups and organizations are filled with gentle people who want to figure out how to get along and give others equipment to play together well in neighborhoods and workplaces, which are the human equivalents to dog parks. They help us to reduce fights and stop newcomers from coming under attack, both noble goals.

While they, and I, were busy working, singing and holding hands in the dog park, all heck broke loose out in the real world.  The people who feel unsettled in this new world began using the newspaper Web sites to recruit domestic terrorists. Homeland Security says they have begun recruiting ex-military who are trained in combat. They are infecting our public domain and airwaves with hate. Homeland Security is telling us that the "white supremacist lone wolves" and "small terrorist cells embracing violent rightwing extremist ideology" have emerged as a major terrorism threat.

Ok, time to open the gate to our dog park. Time to meet the hate groups on their turf  cause they are never going to come to us.

Let’s take all the lessons learned and all the ideas collected from 40 years of conversations right to the right-wingers and engage them in a dialog that seeks to address the fears that drive them.  We need to hear them out. We need to engage them in conversations on their Web sites. We need to respond firmly and bravely instead of ignoring or downplaying their rantings.  They must be held to account for the false information and lies they are spreading on sites where children gather.  Ignoring them is no longer an option.

I could let Gabby nip at the heels of my new roommate and explain her behavior away by suggesting that she has been through a lot lately.   Or I can say, firmly and calmly, each time she struggles for supremacy: “Stop!”

Any dog owner will tell you, ignoring bad behavior eventually will cost you.

So Little Faith In US

 

Credit: Freephoto.com

 

In a democracy, every person - old and young - has a right to refuse to change. Rarely, though, is it in the national interest for citizens to stand perfectly still as other nations around the globe race forward.

 

Business, after all, is a marathon - not a sprint.

 

In Texas, state Rep. Betty Brown, R-Terrell, created some controversy this week by asking a Chinese American leader if it might be possible for Asian Americans to come up with names that are easier for ordinary folks to use.

 

"The comments caused the Texas Democratic Party on Wednesday to demand an apology from  Brown,” the Houston Chronicle reported. But a spokesman for Brown told the paper her comments were only an attempt to overcome problems with identifying Asian names for voting purposes.

The House Elections Committee was listening to testimony from Ramey Ko, a representative of the Organization of Chinese Americans, when Ko noted that many immigrants might have difficulties getting registered because they have a birth name and a more English-sounding name for driver licenses and other documents.

Brown suggested that some of the voting problems might be resolved if Asian Americans might simply adopt names that people here can use easily.

“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?” Brown was quoted as saying in the Houston Chronicle.

While it may be tempting to blame immigrants for having names we can’t pronounce, it seems wiser if we instead ask educators and workforce leaders if they are doing enough to prepare us for today’s global challenges.

We could ask the immigrants to just change their names but then we might have to turn down those job openings overseas. Cities would lose out in the competition for all those multinational corporations that seek to relocate headquarters. America - not Asian Americans - would end up the biggest losers.

This is not a diversity issue, per se.  Rather it is a moment that raises questions as to whether we are as workforce ready as we ought to be. Let’s look at this through a different cultural lens, shall we?

John sits in an aging, inner-city classroom with a well-spoken teacher fresh out of college.  He is a product of the inner city where street smarts are respected and tough reputations are a form of currency.  She comes from a family of means that has spent vacations abroad and summered at the shore.

 

They come from the same nation but different worlds.  John speaks in code so the class, but not his teacher, can understand his jokes.  The teacher uses long words John and his peer never hear at home.

 

At night, each of them goes home pondering how much better the world would be if he, she changed. It does not occur to the teacher,nor to the student, that they have the option of reaching across this cultural divide. Both end up failing because neither will stretch and grow..

.

In a global community, prosperity is the reward for a job well done. It is conferred upon  nations and companies with the courage, creativity and skill to adapt to change.

 

Asian Americans are not the only ones who ought to be dismayed by the legislator’s statements.  The growing legions of culturally competent American workers, college students, literate teachers, U.S. Army officials and American intelligence officers ought to be disappointed too. 

 

 

She has so little faith in US.  .