A new cultural road test to check out how well we see

 

We’ve all been there. We said the wrong thing and we can’t snatch those awful words back. The neighborhoods and cities around us are changing so quickly it is easy to become confused and mess up.  One day we are walking down the street, minding our own business, and the next we are colliding with a stranger who 10 minutes earlier was not on our radar screen.

Getting along in a diverse society requires patience, a willingness to admit mistakes and a sense of humor. (Laughter opens doors; anger closes  them.)

In approaching a new cultural intersection or roadblock, slow down.  Stay alert. Look in all directions before opening your mouth. (This means turning around to see if trouble might be creeping up from behind.)

Frequently, we get run over, sideswiped or hit because we rushed to act or speak before we had all relevant facts. If we lack information, it is impossible to make data-driven decisions, which are the best kind.

Let’s say I am walking down a dark street – listening to my iPod - when I hear footsteps behind me. A man is running towards me. I’ve just come back from seeing the latest spy film, where guys in black are bad news. “Run,” many of you already are thinking. “Get away from there.”

Now let’s say the street I‘m walking on is in Washington, DC. And the stranger behind me is a Secret Service man guarding the President and First Lady who are out on a date. Bolting away from a fast-stepping Secret Service agent is likely to draw suspicion.  

Far better, my friends, to look around for our first clues: Who is behind me, why, and what can I do to make this situation turn out well for me? Most of us rely upon our fgut instincts when we encounter strangers who have different backgrounds.  Not many of us would buy a house by wandering the streets  - just waiting for our dream home to suddenly appear.  We rely on research and comparisons to make the best choice.  The same is true of our cultural filters.  Without independent research and honest audits, we will never know  if our decisions were right. Now let's put this theory to work.

 Let’s say we live in a small town. One day, a police officer stops us while we are driving our car.

We assume:

                       1) This town is a speed trap.

                        2) I was speeding and that is why I was stopped.

                        3)  I am a victim of discrimination.

                        4)  I was not breaking the law so the officer must need assistance. 

                        5)  I am going to remain calm and gather the necessary information.

 

The assumptions we make will affect the first words out of our mouths, our tone and – ultimately – how well the situations end for us.  This door of confusion swings both ways. Let’s now put ourselves in the shoes of a police officer. One day, we see a speeding teenager who is driving an expensive car and texting friends. We stop the car. Should we assume:

                       1)  This is a spoiled rich kid who will treat me like dirt.

                        2) By stopping this car today I am keeping the streets safer for motorists.

                        3)  This is an opportunity to make a difference.

                        4) This  young man is likely to respect authority.

                        5) I am going to remain calm until I gather all the pertinent facts.

 Again, unless we follow the same script and recite the same words (and some officers say they do) for each traffic stop, our beliefs, biases and assumptions will work their way into these conversations. We may send out mixed messages as our body language contradicts the words we say.

Whenever we humans find ourselves in a sticky situation, we must manage our cultural shades and remind ourselves that first impressions – while helpful - are not necessarily right. We have to understand that things often turn out as we expect.

The assignment for today: Let’s offer some ideas on how police and motorists (in general) might improve communication and relationships during tense situations such as traffic stops. Examine your own filters and share how you would manage them. There are no wrong answers  here, only opportunities to raise our national IQ.

Comments

[Art fuller]

Great stuff.
Keep up the informative, provocative dialog.
Art Fuller

[Dr. Karanja (A. Ajanaku)]

Linda,

In the heat of a police encounter (and I've had some racial profiling experiences), I choose to not try and solve the larger social situation and that moment. Instead, I focus on listening, answering direct questions, watching my tone and being judicious with my questions. Better to fight the revolution on another day. Outside of that, using your filtering tools is good preparation.

[Dr. Karanja (A. Ajanaku)]

at that moment.