Cultural IQ

Turning Diversity Lessons Into Child's Play

                  A Low-Stress Way to Talk to Children About Differences

Handout from the Conference on Unity & Hope, Memphis Tenn., June 25^th, at The Cannon Center

1)      Be both teacher and learner in relationships. Smart dogs figure out how to make people happy; brainy people learn how to treat dogs. The best teachers learn from their students.

2)      Watch your words. Tell a well-trained dog to “sit down” and it will sit, and then it will lie down.  Tell a human to “get busy” or “call out,” and you can’t predict what they’ll do. Words may have cultural connotations, so be precise.

3)      Use positive language as much as possible. “Good dog.” “Good Job.” “Good friend.” “Good food!” “Intelligent Republicans.” “Insightful Democrats.” “Compassionate conservatives.” “Loving liberals.”

4)      Rely on treats and rewards rather than punishment. Punishment will make the dog fear you. Yummy treats make a dog eager to learn. Punishment will make a human fear you. Rewards accelerate the rate at which humans can learn. What do parents say after a baby’s first fall? “Yea! Good job. Try again.”

5)      Recognize that you don’t need to change others; you need a toolkit to inspire lifelong learning. A dog learns faster with rewards – hugs, petting and treats. People learn best in safe places where others are  nonjudgmental, understanding, patient and supportive.

6)      Use a calm, assertive doggie voice whenever possible.  Dogs like the voice because it says you are in charge. Humans like the voice because it says you are able to control yourself.

7)      Play is a reliable way to build trust in new relationships. Play allows a dog to check out your sense of fairness and leadership skills. The same goes with humans. If you want to talk about diversity in your neighborhood, invite neighbors over for a party – rather than a meeting. Then ask each guest to identify three things in common with other guests.

8)      Walk away from aggressive behavior. Angry dogs and people bite. Don’t go in without protective gear. To calm angry people, soften your voice. Use reflective listening. Repeat back what they say to show you understand. Ask sincere questions. Show empathy. Validate feelings even if you don’t agree.

Leading My Pack

—  Learn the other person’s language and cultural preferences. My dog, Gabby, is learning Spanish and English. She also uses sign language to communicate. When she needs to go outside, she takes her toy to the door. When she wants food, she sits by her bowl.

—  Show others how well you listen. Dogs listen without interrupting or analyzing what we say. This allows humans to feel loved.

—  Be responsible.  Love has to be earned. It is not free. When a dog’s needs are met, it finds it easier to behave. This is true for humans as well. If a person acts out, find out what’s going on in his or her life.

—  Learn to forgive and let go. My puppy, Gabby, once ate my socks and underwear. Turns out it was a small price to pay for all the adventures we’ve taken together and all the times we have done the "happy dance.”

—  Use your powers of observation. Dogs use sign language and body language to tell us about their pain. Suffering isn’t always verbalized. Pay attention to quiet dogs and sad people.

—  Accept differences. Having a dog wouldn’t be nearly as much fun if it went to work every day, cleaned the house and went shopping. Diversity of experience makes for richer relationships.

—  Clean up your own messes. Dog lovers bring poop bags to the dog park to clean up after their pets. If you make a mess, don’t wait for the cleanup crew. Don’t get defensive. Take responsibility for your actions.

Copyright held by Linda S. Wallace, Memphis, TN. For permission to use with nonprofit groups and organizations, contact  theculturalcoach@aol.com

Whites feel they face discrimination, but who fights for them?

Only once has a person ever stood up during one of my diversity workshops to announce, in a chilling voice drenched with pride, that she was a racist. That young woman happened to be an African-American college student.

Rather than scold, I asked a few simple questions regarding her future goals: What affect might her beliefs have on her ability to get a job and have a successful career? Did she feel her beliefs made it more difficult for her to succeed in a college, where more than 70 percent of the faculty was white? Finally, I asked her to consider how she might react if one of the European Americans had stood up and said, “I am racist.” (The young lady did not respond.)

Though it attracts far less attention in the media, racial and color bias among African Americans has emerged as a growing workplace problem. Discrimination complaints involving skin color – light skin v. dark skin – are a fast-growing segment of EEOC lawsuits. Discrimination against whites is an issue as well.

• In September 2009, EEOC filed a workplace discrimination lawsuit against a North Houston new and used car dealership and service center for subjecting a Caucasian male over age 40 to unlawful harassment based on his race, age, and sex by his African-American male supervisor. (EEOC v. Worldclass Automotive, d/b/a Planet Ford, C.A. No. 4:09-cv-3096)

• In May 2009, Jack in the Box agreed to pay $20,000 to settle a lawsuit alleging that the company did not take prompt action after a white hostess at its Nashville restaurant complained (that) she was being harassed by black co-workers who called her racial epithets and insulted her when they learned she was pregnant with a mixed-race child. (EEOC v. Jack in the Box, No. 3:08-cv-009663 Settled on May 19, 2009)

• In April 2009, a private, historically black college located in Columbia, S.C. agreed to settle a Title VII lawsuit alleging that it discriminated against three white faculty members because of their race when it failed to renew their teaching contracts for the 2005-06 school year. (EEOC v. Benedict College, No. 3:09-cv-00905-JFA-JRM (D.S.C. April 8, 2009)

In a recent study, Michael I. Norton of Harvard Business School found white respondents were more likely to view anti-white bias as a bigger societal problem than anti-black bias. They felt bias against Africans Americans has decreased while anti-white bias is on the uptick. After the report was released, many civil rights organizations and anti-racism groups either were defensive or eerily silent.

Though it is hard to find reliable data on anti-white discrimination, I hear frequently from whites who are subjected to taunting and hate. Reverse discrimination is a problem for all of us. Several years ago, I wrote a recommendation for a gifted European-American reporter who had written the best story on a poor, predominantly black town of Chester, Pa. I had ever read.  The then-mayor of the town called me afterward to say it had been the fairest story my newspaper had ever published on his city. Yet this culturally savvy journalist – an asset to any newsroom – later was rejected for a job because he was the wrong color. “They were looking for a black,” he explained, dejectedly.

In a sagging economy where fears over job security, pensions, healthcare and homelessness reduce hope and give rise to racial and ethnic tensions, we must find the courage to ask: Will African Americans join the 2011 fight for equality or be content to focus on those who discriminate against us?

The civil rights movement is fading into the era of inclusion, where diverse organizations must collaborate on creating learning cultures where all humans have the freedom and confidence to flourish and fully contribute their gifts, intelligence and talents.

Michael, a white man from Memphis, spoke of our community’s interdependence in a recent comment on my Cultural IQ blog: “I have witnessed, and at times, even participated in racial harassment directed toward black people and, on almost a daily basis I am the victim of racial harassment, or discrimination, directed at me from black people. To suggest that one side is more culpable than the other is wrong. I would love to see this type of behavior come to a stop and it is going to take people from all sides working together,“ he wrote.

Somewhere along the line, some of us lost the ability to recall the love of humanity in Dr. King Jr.’s thunderous voice.

 “An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity,” he told all Americans.

It is up to us to decide if we will listen to Dr. King or hear only what we want to hear.

Work Outside of Your Comfort Zone

 

Imagine that you walk into a business, look around and notice nobody else looks like you.  You’re a different age, perhaps, or you may have a different skin color.

What would you do?

1) Hurriedly walk out.

2) Explore the new location.

3) Think of it as an opportunity to learn. Ask questions.

At work and in our private lives, we encounter new people and situations that push us outside our comfort zone.  When we learn by experience, it’s difficult because there are no cheat sheets or guide books. Chances are we are going to make mistakes and feel ill at ease.

To make diversity work, communities need a culture that supports teachers and learners.  When we walk into a restaurant where we are unfamiliar with the culture, wait staff need to teach customers about the customs and guide them.

In diversity rich communities, everyone needs to be a teacher and a learner.

Guide posts for cultural learners

• Try to think like nontraditional customers.  Present you are walking inside your business for the first time. Would you feel welcomed? Is staff trained to be nonjudgmental and welcoming?
• Learn to read facial expressions and body language. Don’t wait for out-of-place learners to sum up the courage to ask for help. Go out and look for people who appear anxious or unsure.  When I took my niece and nephew to Disney World years ago, we took a few steps inside the park and glanced down at our maps. A hostess walked over to welcome us, asking if she could answer any questions.  Later on, I asked my teenage nephew what he had enjoyed most during the trip. To my amazement, he replied, “I liked the way I was treated.”
• Accept learners where they are. Not everyone who walks into a Chinese food restaurant will feel comfortable with chop sticks. Have alternative dining ware ready for use. If you’re a Mexican restaurant that greets diners in Spanish (“Hola”), you might use English as well (“Hola, hello!”)  If the customer responds in Spanish, then proceed. If the customer appears to be uncomfortable, switch back to English. The same holds true for wait staff who like to use pet names for customers: darling, honey, sweetie, etc.  If your language makes your customer feel uncomfortable, chances are you will decrease the size of your tip.
• Prepare for the unexpected and take reasonable risks: My friend owned a beauty shop that catered to African-American clientele. One day, a white woman walked in and asked to have her hair done. My friend looked at her hair – not her skin color – and concluded she could do the hair. The woman ended up being a great customer. No beautician to the celebrity stars would ever say, “I can’t do (black, white, Asian, Hispanic) hair.” If you want to get to the top, you’ve got to be a fully committed learner.

For Learners:

• Ask questions. Delay making statements or generalizations, however, until you are more knowledgeable and learn the cultural customs.  Sometimes, we will find that businesses lack the appropriate tools and materials to support their newcomers or learners.  About 10 years ago, I walked into an Asian restaurant for dim sum but all the prices were written in Chinese.  As I asked questions, I found the wait staff couldn’t speak English. I approached the manager to propose that he prepare special cards or brochures in English to place atop tables for newcomers.
• Be willing to adapt. If a cat owner stayed overnight at the house of a dog owner, she wouldn’t treat the dog like her cat. We have to adapt and adjust our behaviors.
• Whenever possible, take a guide with you. It helps to take a knowledgeable friend along when we step outside our comfort zones. This accelerates learning and lends us a degree of credibility. It’s like having a tutor.
• Take time to reflect on the lessons and cultural insights. You need to process the information before you act on your knowledge. How can this information lead to better relationships and diverse collaborations?

Somebody's Just Called You A Nigger, Now What?

 

I try to protect my sweet dog, Gabby, from danger and she does the same for me. The other day she gave two young men walking toward us such an evil glance that one of them stopped and said, “Wow, she really protects you!”

As careful as we are, no one can sidestep trouble all the time.  It finds me and taps me on the shoulder far too often. While walking in Midtown Memphis Friday night Gabby and I sauntered past a sidewalk café where patrons were enjoying dinner. “Look at that nigger with the dog,” a young man said clearly and brashly to his female companion.

My first thoughts were of Gabby. If I got upset, what would Gabby do? After walking a half block, I turned around so I stood facing the young man. Our eyes met for a few, very uncomfortable moments before he turned away and began to stare at the bank parking lot behind him. (Parking lots are a much under-used conversation for date nights, don’t you think?)

I continued to stand and stare without uttering a word. If I had had my camera with me, I would have taken his photo and posted it on my blog along with this article.  (I now suspect that is exactly what the young man feared.)

Gabby, meanwhile, was happily sniffing a flowerbed, without any idea of the drama around her. “Come Gabby,” let’s go home,” I said. We enjoyed the stroll home, as we were the couple that stood tall, not the one who blinked.

Now, I’m not going to launch into a debate about free speech or racism. That’s not my point, at least not today.  Rather, I’d like to offer that young man a motherly warning.

Next time you decide to show off while at dinner, the target of your insults may have a camera and you might find your photo plastered over the Internet and discussed as widely as scandal-plagued New York Rep. Anthony Weiner and his shorts.

Even Gabby knows the rule that governs in this case: “If you want delicious treats in life, then you had better learn how to behave out in public.”

Words Can Get You Into Trouble Or Out Of it

Worth Repeating: Column Orginally Published in March, 2007 in Houston Chronicle

Dear Cultural Coach:

Recently my local newspaper published a story on Hazelton, Pa.'s ordinance penalizing businesses that hire illegal immigrants. The columnist was upset that opponents had been referring to it as an anti-immigrant ordinance. The columnist felt that the more correct term was anti-illegal immigration. His article made me realize how common it is today for groups to use catchy terms that spin their arguments in a good light: pro-choice, pro-life, anti-terrorism forces, patriot groups. How do we communicate when words and phases are so political?

SPEECHLESS

Dear Speechless:

Words are a valuable social currency. People who talk the most or the loudest aren't necessarily important or powerful. It is those who know how to use language to motivate, persuade and inspire trust that command respect in today's world.

In the financial markets, the amount of currency we make is determined by the soundness of our investment strategy.

The same holds true for the currency of words. Our strategy influences the outcome. The dividends received are determined largely by the type of words we use and the way we use them. The right words can unlock closed doors and open narrow minds. Much of the time, conflicts prompt us to give in to our frustrations rather than to rely upon trusty language skills.

When talking with a friend or colleague, we need to act like detectives.

Words offer clues as to how we may communicate most effectively. They provide insights into a speaker's age, income, educational background and political views.

It is our job to take these clues and then select the words that will help us hold a meaningful dialogue.

A speaker's language choices suggest the right questions for us.

If a speaker tells us that Hazelton's ordinance is anti-immigrant, we first need to seek clarification. Did the speaker choose the wrong word? Was this slip intentional or an oversight? Secondly, we need to trade information. Who is the source of this information? Does the speaker have information we don't have?

You see, speakers sometimes can't tell when their cultural filters are showing. It's awfully embarrassing.

Culturally savvy people know how to unearth the facts to get to the truth.

People from all walks of life need the ability to sift through opinions and find the filters. That is a skill that is increasingly important in today's global village. The more angles we can use to view a drama, the more data we can have. Solid research leads to high-quality decisions.

We also must know how to listen without becoming angry or upset. It is inevitable that other people eventually will use words that offend us. In these moments, we must remember to reach into our portfolio to find objective and reasonable language.

We all have filters. Our cultural, social and political filters put a spin on the facts. Essentially, we take perfectly good information and use it to develop a story that suits our views.

Our mission is to get the facts, always. Don't accept a political or cultural script as a substitute for the truth.

So watch your words, and invest your currency shrewdly.

Read more: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/main/4673249.html#ixzz1OjySUKVF

Survey Says: Class Now Matters More than Race or Ethnicity

WASHINGTON, June 3, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- In a rapidly diversifying America, whites and minorities share many common views about what it takes to succeed in today's economy and a cultural optimism about the progress America has made in expanding opportunity for people of all ethnic and racial backgrounds.

However, they diverge in revealing ways about the role of government, the opportunities they see for the next generation, and the consequences of demographic change, according to poll results announced today by The Allstate Corporation (NYSE: ALL) and National Journal.

With the U.S. population projected to become "majority-minority" by 2042, the ninth quarterly Allstate-National Journal Heartland Monitor Poll examined questions of economic opportunity and beliefs about the future of America across a spectrum of racial and ethnic groups.

The poll results show significant agreement about economic opportunity and the path to success in America. Most Americans believe the U.S. has made real progress on economic opportunity, with 55% saying the country is doing a better job now at creating equal opportunity across ethnic and racial lines than when they were younger. By a 2-1 margin, Americans believe that our free market economy is successful at creating more opportunity than problems. Across all backgrounds, education was considered the most important factor for success in America, followed by the state of the economy and an individual's own skills, while only 2% of respondents believed it was a person's racial or ethnic background.

The results also show that Americans of all backgrounds believe that economic divides between rich and poor are the most significant contributor to disagreements on important issues – a greater wedge than ethnic, racial, or cultural divides.

"Our survey uncovers that a more diverse America is a more hopeful America – one that sees opportunities available to all, regardless of race or ethnic background," said Thomas J. Wilson, Allstate chairman, president and chief executive officer. "This optimism in the American dream is further illustrated by the belief that education, individual initiative and hard work are the keys to success. The poll reveals there is common ground as we work to harness the power of our diverse nation to make us all stronger and more successful. Americans of all backgrounds believe disagreements in this country on important issues are driven more by income differences than any other difference, including ethnic or cultural divides."

However, the survey points out notable divides in three areas: Americans' opinions on the role of government in fostering economic opportunity, the opportunities they foresee for the next generation, and the potential costs and benefits of the demographic change sweeping America. While a plurality of white respondents (42%) said they believe "government is the problem" for our economic environment, only 25% of Hispanics, 17% of African-Americans, and 16% of Asians hold that view. There is a significant partisan divide here as well, with 58% of Republicans saying government is the problem, compared to 36% of independents and 18% of Democrats.

Despite optimism about their own opportunities, a large majority of Americans are concerned for the next generation, with only 33% saying they believe today's children will have more opportunity to get ahead. Whites (24%) and Asians (37%) are significantly less likely to be optimistic for today's children, while African-Americans (57%) and Hispanics (56%) are more hopeful.

"This poll offers many reasons for optimism that more diversity in America is not guaranteed to produce greater division, but it also underscores the risk that racial and ethnic divisions could reinforce the ideological and partisan splits we're already experiencing," said Ronald Brownstein, Editorial Director of National Journal Group.

Key findings from the ninth Allstate-National Journal Heartland Monitor Poll (PDF) include:

1)  Americans share optimism about opportunity for themselves and the progress America has made on equal opportunity for all people. They are less optimistic for the next generation, and there are considerable differences by race and ethnicity.

• Most Americans believe they have about the same or more opportunity to get ahead than their parents had, with 44% saying they have more opportunity, 24% saying it's about the same, and 29% saying they have less opportunity.
  • African-Americans (69% see more opportunity), Hispanics (62%), and Asians (67%) are particularly optimistic about their opportunities compared to their parents.
  • White Americans are less optimistic, with only 36% saying they have more opportunity than their parents did.
• Most Americans (55%) believe the country is providing more opportunity for people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds than when they were younger, while 30% say it is about the same, and only 14% say it is providing less.
• Americans are less optimistic about opportunities for the next generation, with only 33% believing that today's children will have more opportunity to get ahead. This continues a pattern from previous Heartland Monitor polls.
  • African-Americans (57% see more opportunity) and Hispanics (56%) are more optimistic for the next generation than are Asians (37%) and whites (24%).
• When asked to choose the most important factor in determining a person's ability to get ahead, Americans cite education most often (39%), followed by the state of the economy (23%), a person's own skills (22%), and a person's income level (9%). Only 2% of respondents chose a person's ethnic or racial background as the most important factor.
  • Hispanics (53% education) and African-Americans (51%) were most likely to choose education, while whites were more closely divided between education (34%), economic conditions (28%), and a person's own skills (23%).

 

2) Americans of all backgrounds believe that the country's free market system works to create opportunity. Views on the role of government are more divergent, and show division along racial and ethnic lines, as well as partisan ones.

• A strong majority of Americans express support for the free market economy, with 62% who say that, left to itself, the free market creates more opportunities than problems, while just 32% believe that it creates more problems than opportunities.
  • Whites (63%-31%), Hispanics (61%-30%) and Asians (61%-28%) are consistent in this belief, while African-Americans (49%-43%) are more split.
  • Partisan differences are more dramatic, between Republicans (79% more opportunities than problems), independents (59%), and Democrats (52%).
• On the role of government in the economy, Americans are split among those who believe that "government is the problem" (36%), those who believe government should play an active role in the economy but are skeptical about its effectiveness (34%), and those who believe the government must play an active role (27%).
  • A plurality of whites (42%) say government is the problem, compared to only 25% of Hispanics, 17% of African-Americans, and 16% of Asians.
  • People of color are more likely to unreservedly endorse an active role, including 42% of African-Americans, 37% of Hispanics, and 36% of Asians.
  • Partisan differences also show up dramatically, with 58% of Republicans saying government is the problem, compared to 36% of independents and only 18% of Democrats. White Republicans (64%) are especially wary.
• When asked which institution in society does the most to improve their lives, 31% of Americans say small businesses, 22% say community and nonprofit organizations, 14% say the government, 12% say big companies and 12% say religious institutions.
  • African-Americans (22%), Hispanics (22%), and Asians (23%) are twice as likely as whites (11%) to say government does the most.

 

3) Americans of all backgrounds believe disagreements in this country on important issues are driven more by income differences than any other difference, including ethnic or cultural divides.

• Across all racial and ethnic lines, economic differences between rich and poor were consistently rated more important than political, cultural, generational, ethnic and racial, or religious differences as a factor contributing to Americans' disagreements about important issues. A total of 57% rated economic differences at the high end of the scale, indicating they contribute "a great deal" to disagreements about important issues, while fewer than 46% assigned the same importance to cultural, ethnic/racial, generational or religious differences. The only factor that approached economic differences in importance was political differences, rated at the high end of the scale by 51% of respondents.
• Hispanics rated cultural differences between native-born Americans and immigrants more important than other groups (57% chose the high end of the scale, versus 45% for all groups combined). African-Americans rated ethnic and racial differences more important than other groups (54% chose the high end of the scale, versus 35% for all groups). However, both Hispanics and African-Americans still rated those two factors well below economic differences in importance.

 

4) Americans are deeply ambivalent about the rapidly changing demographic face of the country and its impact on American culture and politics.

• When informed that the U.S. is expected to have a "majority-minority" population by 2042, a full 50% of Americans agreed with the idea that the demographic trends are troubling because the population change is happening too quickly and changing the character and values of the U.S. during a time of economic crisis.
  • Majorities of whites (53%) and African-Americans (51%) took this position.
  • Among whites, older (56%), less-educated (58%), lower-income (56%), and Republican (59%) respondents were most likely to hold this view.
  • Among African-Americans, younger (55%), less-educated (56%) and lower-income (56%) respondents were most likely to hold this view.
• The alternative view – that the trends reflect a positive American tradition of welcoming all backgrounds and that immigrant and minority populations contribute to America's position as the world's largest economy – was agreed with by 42% of respondents, including 60% of Hispanics and 62% of Asians.
• A majority of Americans believe increased diversity will lead to both more racial tolerance (85%) and more racial tension (67%), as well as more success for minority-owned businesses (84%), more income inequality (64%), fewer skilled workers (62%), and fewer people upholding America's cultural heritage (63%).
• While 41% of Americans overall say racial and ethnic minorities have about the right amount of influence in the political process, people of color widely agree that they have too little, including 60% of African-Americans, 51% of Hispanics, and 53% of Asians.

 

5) Americans remain pessimistic about the direction of the country, but President Obama's approval rating has improved slightly since the last poll. Opinions of the President and the country's direction show sharp racial and ethnic divides.

• Americans are still pessimistic about the direction of the country, with 58% saying it is on the wrong track, down only slightly from 60% in the March 2011 Heartland Monitor poll.
  • While 66% of whites say the country is on the wrong track, 57% of African-Americans say it is headed in the right direction.
• President Obama's approval (50%) and disapproval (42%) numbers have improved slightly since March, when they were 49%-44%.
  • Whites (43% approve) are much less likely to approve of the president's job performance than Hispanics (65%), Asians (70%), or African-Americans (90%).
  • Whites (34% Obama, 54% someone else) are the only group who would not vote to re-elect President Obama today. Obama wins with Asians (49%-25%), Hispanics (52%-36%), and African-Americans (89%-5%).
• Ethnic and racial minorities are also much more likely to believe the country's economy will improve over the next 12 months, including 86% of African-Americans, 80% of Asians, and 74% of Hispanics, compared to just 54% of whites