Cultural IQ

Feeling Blue In Philadelphia

We are feeling a little blue today in Philly. The City is having a water crisis (it may be contaminated). So every morning and evening, we get an alert telling us whether the water is safe and for how long. (Right now it is safe to drink the city-treated water until 11:59 pm tomorrow.)

Not so unusual, right? Mishaps happen. What's extraordinary is that our mayor is missing in action. This is his last term, and people have been saying some very unkind things about him.

Perhaps his feelings are hurt? Maybe he is at home with his dog or cat. In that case, I'd understand. I know they love him.

At any rate, we citizens appear to be on our own. As you can see, we are not handling this very well.

The sun will come out tomorrow . . . we hope! Check back with us again. Meanwhile, if you are coming to Philly. BYOW (Bring Your Own Water). In fact, bring enough for everybody.

 

 

WATER, WATER, WHERE CAN YOU BE?

https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/editorials/safe-drinking-water-spill-toxic-delaware-river-mayor-kenney-20230328.html?fbclid=IwAR2sCH7g2XPyf9jX2J-ZOI1bArP9Z_5EWqXGVXI5xjGurb7nEcJQp7DzEx8

Let's Help Each Other To Do Better

https://www.inquirer.com/news/philadelphia-police-officer-racial-slur-video-20230324.html

 

Oh my. 

 

This is a tough challenge. What should we do when we hear someone use a racial slur? In Philadelphia, a police officer was caught on video using a racial slur. I am not certain how I would respond in this situation. 

I do hope we can begin to focus the discussion around diversity solutions and techniques rather than grievances.

Over the years, I have encountered people in the workplace who used hostile language. My favorite response, "I can't hear you as well when you yell at me. I really do want to understand your point."

Cultural sleuths out there: What would you do? Can you share an experience where you managed to defuse a tense situation?

Let's help each other to do better.

 

 

There is a Way Everybody Wins

Instead of going around talking to the folks who don't get diversity, why don't we simply find Diversity Super Stars who do get it and put them on the front pages and at the top of the news shows? (It is far more difficult to argue with success)

Diversity doesn't have to be a win-lose proposition - though it is often presented that way. If some group wins, then somebody else loses. If somebody is getting ahead, then somebody is falling behind.

Let's rebrand diversity. Let's explore the ways diversity creates vibrant communities of problem solvers ( I offer up Houston, "we are going to get rid of homelessness", Texas.)

Let's ask difficult questions: If Scott Adams had had greater diversity in his life, might he have been able to adapt his cartoon over the years to appeal a multicultural America? A major newspaper chain canceled the cartoon back in September, long before he made these recent remarks. (Is competency, not race, the real reason he failed?)

As I see it, competency matters: Adams was not able to update a cartoon that he designed for whites to one that was multicultural and continued to have mass appeal.

We must change our language and the conversation: How do we create a community where all beings can be themselves and contribute their unique talents to the pack.

Dogs already do this. They call this place the dog park.

The Danger Of a Single Story

There is danger in telling a single story.

 

On a walk a few years ago, Gabby was attacked by a much larger dog.

Your instinct is to do whatever you can to protect a loved one. I tried to get inbetween Gabby and the much larger dog. I tried to use the doggie commands I had learned in dog obedience school.  They were not working. 

During the struggle, I fell to the ground, and Gabby fell on top of me. The dog was biting her as she lay on top, protecting me from attack. I'll never forget the look of love I saw in Gabby's eyes at that moment.

 We were fortunate because a friend of the dog's owner was able to gain control of the dog. The owner, also my neighbor, drove us to the animal hospital so Gabby could have surgery. And he waited by my side until we got the news she would be OK.

I later learned my neighbor's wife had just died. He had spent that morning cleaning out her closets. The dog that attacked belonged to her, and the animal was grieving her loss. The husband was a  novice who couldn't yet read or understand doggie behaviors. 

 

There is a danger in telling a single story. If I had only told you that my dog had been attacked, you might have a very different view of this incident. 

 

 As we collect more and more pieces of the puzzle, truth emerges.

US Military Utilizes New Type of Strength

This article was published when General Stanley McCrystal led US forces in Afghanistan. What are the lessons to be learned? 

 

 

General Stanley McChrystal comes to Afghanistan with a tall order from President Barack Obama.

He has been asked to change the way U.S. and NATO forces relate to the Afghan people, who are distrustful of them because of the high civilian casualities."The Afghan people are at the center of our mission. In reality, they are the mission. We must protect them from violence, whatever its nature. We must respect their religion and traditions," he said. "Each of us, from rifleman to regional commander, from village to city, must execute our mission with the realization that displaying respect, cultural sensitivity, accountability and transparency are essential to gaining the support and trust of the Afghan people."

 

What does the US Army expect of its 21st-century  troops? Cultural literacy, a set of new skills and abilities outlined below.

Culturally Literate Soldiers :

-Understand that culture affects their behavior and beliefs and the behavior and beliefs of others.

-Are aware of specific cultural beliefs, values, and sensibilities that might affect the way they and others think or behave.

-Appreciate and accept diverse beliefs, appearances, and lifestyles.

-Are aware that historical knowledge is constructed and, therefore, shaped by personal, political, and social forces.

-Know the history of mainstream and nonmainstream American cultures and understand how these histories affect current society.

-Can understand the perspective of nonmainstream groups when learning about historical events.

-Know about major historical events of other nations and understand how such events affect behaviors, beliefs, and relationships with others.

-Are aware of the similarities among groups of different cultural backgrounds and accept differences between them.

-Understand the dangers of stereotyping, ethnocentrisms, and other biases and are aware of and sensitive to issues of racism and prejudice.

-Are bilingual, multilingual, or working toward language proficiency.

-Can communicate, interact, and work positively with individuals from other cultural groups.

-Use technology to communicate with individuals and access resources from other cultures.

-Are familiar with changing cultural norms of technology (such as instant messaging, virtual workspaces, E-mail, and so on), and can interact successfully in such environments.

Doggone it, I Just Want to Vote

 

Posted by Linda S. Wallace

Sept. 2008- Houston, TX - In a year when an African-American visionary and a female warrior made a bid for the globe’s biggest job, I found myself pondering a question: “Who does a woman have to know to get registered to vote in November?”

 As our nation pats itself on the back for all its racial and gender progress on the political home front, I find that I – a person of color long-committed to voting – can’t seem to manage to get registered. I’m a new resident of Bellaire (TX) in Harris County, and I’m over the age of 18. I’ve never committed a crime. I am a citizen (always a good thing) and I am not (yet) mentally incapacitated. Furthermore, my dog thinks I’m a fine person. Now, that may not be part of the legal criteria, but it matters to me just the same.

 Even before the moving van arrived from Philadelphia in January with my furnishings, I had filled out the Harris County voter registration application in my empty house because I wanted to vote in the primary. I popped it into the mail, thinking, “I’ve done it!” I moved without forfeiting my right to vote in one of the most important elections ever. Boy, was I naïve.  

In February, I received a letter from the Harris County Tax Assessor, which handles voter registration, telling me that it needed additional information from me to complete my application. In this county, if you don’t have a Texas driver’s license, which I did not, you have to furnish the last four digits of your social security number. I did so happily, but the County wrote back it couldn’t verify my personal information with the current info. I sent in another application as directed, this one attached to a copy of my Pennsylvania drivers’ license, my SSN, and my February utility bill.

 As the primary neared, I got a little nervous. A week before the election, and still no word about my voting status. I called the Tax Assessors office and a nice lady sadly informed me that it had no record of receiving the second letter I sent. It went out, and never came back. It’s lost out there. I surely hope it found a home with some nice, honest people.

  Friend and foe alike will tell you: Linda Wallace is a pest. Watch out. I have a nose for news, and an uncanny ability for sniffing out hidden stories. This is one of those times.  It just so happens that the Assessor’s Office, which oversees registration, is headed by a Republican. The Harris County Democrats, whose politican fortunes have been lifted by a blue tide of minority residents, have launched a campaign to take over the County’s executive jobs. Voter registration drives are a key part of the strategy. The nice lady answering the phone at the Assessors office recently tried to make me feel better by assuring me lots of other folks were having problems too.

This is a plot with lots of twists played out by a fascinating cast of characters. But right now, I’m focused solely on getting a leading role that changes my status from wannabe-voter to voter-to-be.

In July, when I finally got around to getting my Texas Drivers License (I held off because I didn’t have a car) I marked the box that asked if I wanted to register the vote.  The clerk  took my photo, checked all the info and she assured me the voter registration process was complete. A warm glow came over me as I walked out. Who cared about the driver’s license? I only got it cause I thought it could help me register to vote.

 Oh, how happy I was!  I had overcome adversity, and with practice and patience, qualified for the final heat in the presidential round. Or so I thought. A few weeks later, I met a local attorney who volunteers with the League of Women Voters. After listening to me tell of my voting drama, she burst my bubble by telling me that – due to some computer issues- some folks who thought they had registered at the Texas Department of Public Safety drivers’ license outlet later found they weren’t ACTUALLY registered. She advised me to check the voter registration rolls to make sure I was now on it.

 I checked the list on August 29 – for the third time in eight months – and for the third time in eight months I discovered that the county still had me cast as a voter wannabe.

 
  So this past Tuesday, good buddies, I got up early, waved goodbye to my dog, and then went off to register to vote - for the fourth time. Now I hold the voting registration record for most times in a single year, at least in my family. But this round, I played it a little smarter and wiser. I printed out a copy of the voter registration form before I left home, filled it out, and put a copy in my safety deposit box so I could prove the information was correct, and the boxes were filled in.  Gotcha! Plus, I didn’t give out my Social Security number to anybody this time.

 State law requires Texans to register at least 30 days prior to the election. After registering so often, I hope I now qualify to vote. But if not, I still have a window. Figure I can fill out the voter registration form two more times still before it’s officially too late. If there is a next time, though, I think I’ll send in the form over the Internet. I’ve haven’t tried that way yet.  You know the definition of insanity right? Keep doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting the results to be different.

 Seriously, folks, there is a moral to this story:

 1) If you registered to vote this year but have not received an official card, call your local voter registration office just to make certain your name is on the list.

2) If you registered to vote when you got your driver’s license and did not receive a card, call and make certain your name is on the list.

3)    Finally, when all this is over and you’re ready to vote on Nov 4, take along lots of proof of your identity. I, for one, am bringing my passport; my drivers’ license; my SSN; and notes from my mother and my dog attesting to my good name and character.

======================================================

 

 

Years ago, I was riding in a car with a real estate agent, taking a tour of neighborhoods in Northeast Philly.

As a real estate reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, I tried to visit new neighborhoods and meet people in the communities where they lived.

The real estate agent, who was white, showed me around Northeast Philly, raving about the strong housing demand, cleanliness and great schools.

As we drove along, I noticed that the view from my window changed: more Black and Brown people were walking the streets around us. The housing was a bit modest and there were fewer retail centers.

The agent turned to me and said, “This neighborhood is not safe. I wouldn’t want to live here.”

I asked: “Do you sell homes in this neighborhood as well?”

No, he said.

“Oh, then you know people who live here?”

Again, he answered no.

So – ever so politely – I asked, “Where did you get your information from? Who is your source?”

Shocked, the agent said nothing.

After a few moments of pronounced silence, I spoke: “It does not appear that you are an expert on this neighborhood, so I’ll have to find someone else to quote in my story.”

Years later, as I held cultural competency workshops for journalists, I shared this story as a cautionary tale.

How often do journalists pass along things that they are told without challenging them? We sometimes present racist, biased and/or made-up stuff as fact.

And before you know it, the Year 2020 has arrived with falsehoods spreading out of control like the wildfires out west.

If we want to have meaningful political conversations, then everyone needs to come prepared to back up their opinions with research, reliable data or indisputable proof.

Now that former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Kamala Harris have been declared winners of the 2020 presidential election, we have a lot to discuss. Some topics may be painful.

It is important that we support each other by asking that we all be at our best.

When someone tells us this election was stolen from President Trump, we say: “Where did you get your information from? Who is your source?”

We ask for concrete evidence, examples that we might check out and for the stories of real-life voters. We want to know more. We are not trying to shut down the dialogue.

If someone tells us all Trump supporters are racist and aren’t worth talking with, we respond, “Where did you get your information from? Who is your source?”

Again, ask for concrete evidence, examples that we might check out and stories of real people. (We would need to check out the stories of all 70 million people voting for Trump to prove they are all racist. If you can’t do that, then be quiet.)

The days ahead won’t be easy. We are a nation in celebration and mourning in the same moment of time.

Some now will grieve the election results. They will do so as grieving continues throughout the nation for loved ones lost to COVID-19 and with so many reeling from the loss of a job or a home.

Let’s not let falsehoods pull us further apart and keep us from solving the serious challenges ahead.

10 Ways to Poison the Debate

 

 

This is a brief message to our presidential candidates and their supporters. After reading, listening and viewing footage of recent discourse, I thought I might point out a few problem areas and offer strategies for getting ahead.

1) Instead of seeking a discussion of facts or truth, shut down the conversation right away by announcing you take offense at a remark. This tactic makes you the center of attention. Communication now is focused on your beliefs rather than on a discussion of the original speaker's statement. It is a verbal version of the old bait-and-switch routine. Use it as often as you can.

2) Never ask open-ended questions to clarify another speaker's position and promote discovery. For example, you would never say: "I want to be certain that I understand your point. Am I restating your position correctly?" Questions such as these remove you from the spotlight.

3) Always attach labels to others and throw around words such as elitist, racist, conservative or liberal when describing them. This transforms conversations into chess games of defensive maneuvers. All productive communication shuts down, making dialogs a game of skill rather than an free exchange of ideas and opinions.

4) Don’t listen with the purpose of understanding a speaker’s intent. Instead create confusion and misunderstanding by questioning their motives and explaining what they really meant.

5) Call in the media to provide around-the-clock interpretation and analysis. This is helpful to them as it builds larger audiences and helps ratings.

6) When responding to ideas you don't happen to agree with, never EVER say: "That's an interesting take on the issue. However, I see it a bit differently. Might I explain?" After all, the purpose of communication is to gain power or seek a better position, not to better understand one another's backgrounds and cultural challenges.

7) After a speaker admits making a mistake and offers you an apology, steadfastly refuse to move forward in the conversation. The longer you stay in the spotlight, the more points you earn. If the public gets turned off, well, there are fewer votes to count on election day. You won't have to stay up so late.

8) When discussing mistakes, never ever use yourself as an example. It is better to criticize opponents, critics or family members than to share your mistakes and life lessons. Parents use this tactic all the time. A parent who used drugs as a teen might say to his child: “Don’t use drugs because you might end up like Uncle Paulie. He's done awful things to this family.”

9) Attack leaders who are not in the same room. This is a good way to win an argument. OK, so it shuts down meaningful communication and fosters cultural tensions and unrest. Fortunately, you can then tell others, "We are in a real mess. I'm just the person to solve these problems." (This tactic works with humans as well as dogs, I've discovered. If dogs aren’t in the same room, they ignore you so you can always get the last word. )

10) Whenever possible, focus the conversation on what’s wrong with (1) the world, 2) your family, 3) your neighbors or 4) the nation rather than on America's shared strengths. If I held a dialog to discuss racial problems and threats, hundreds of people would show up. If we held a dialog to discuss how talented and intelligent cultural families might build a just community, my dog might attend. And she is going to ask for treats. So attack, attack, attack. If fewer people are in your discussion circle, you'll have more time to talk

 

 

This is a brief message to our presidential candidates and their supporters. After reading, listening and viewing footage of recent discourse, I thought I might point out a few problem areas and offer strategies for getting ahead.

1) Instead of seeking a discussion of facts or truth, shut down the conversation right away by announcing you take offense at a remark. This tactic makes you the center of attention. Communication now is focused on your beliefs rather than on a discussion of the original speaker's statement. It is a verbal version of the old bait-and-switch routine. Use it as often as you can.

2) Never ask open-ended questions to clarify another speaker's position and promote discovery. For example, you would never say: "I want to be certain that I understand your point. Am I restating your position correctly?" Questions such as these remove you from the spotlight.

3) Always attach labels to others and throw around words such as elitist, racist, conservative or liberal when describing them. This transforms conversations into chess games of defensive maneuvers. All productive communication shuts down, making dialogs a game of skill rather than an free exchange of ideas and opinions.

4) Don’t listen with the purpose of understanding a speaker’s intent. Instead create confusion and misunderstanding by questioning their motives and explaining what they really meant.

5) Call in the media to provide around-the-clock interpretation and analysis. This is helpful to them as it builds larger audiences and helps ratings.

6) When responding to ideas you don't happen to agree with, never EVER say: "That's an interesting take on the issue. However, I see it a bit differently. Might I explain?" After all, the purpose of communication is to gain power or seek a better position, not to better understand one another's backgrounds and cultural challenges.

7) After a speaker admits making a mistake and offers you an apology, steadfastly refuse to move forward in the conversation. The longer you stay in the spotlight, the more points you earn. If the public gets turned off, well, there are fewer votes to count on election day. You won't have to stay up so late.

8) When discussing mistakes, never ever use yourself as an example. It is better to criticize opponents, critics or family members than to share your mistakes and life lessons. Parents use this tactic all the time. A parent who used drugs as a teen might say to his child: “Don’t use drugs because you might end up like Uncle Paulie. He's done awful things to this family.”

9) Attack leaders who are not in the same room. This is a good way to win an argument. OK, so it shuts down meaningful communication and fosters cultural tensions and unrest. Fortunately, you can then tell others, "We are in a real mess. I'm just the person to solve these problems." (This tactic works with humans as well as dogs, I've discovered. If dogs aren’t in the same room, they ignore you so you can always get the last word. )

10) Whenever possible, focus the conversation on what’s wrong with (1) the world, 2) your family, 3) your neighbors or 4) the nation rather than on America's shared strengths. If I held a dialog to discuss racial problems and threats, hundreds of people would show up. If we held a dialog to discuss how talented and intelligent cultural families might build a just community, my dog might attend. And she is going to ask for treats. So attack, attack, attack. If fewer people are in your discussion circle, you'll have more time to talk

 

Life's Little Diversity Manual: How to Get Where We Need to Go

  

(First installment)

 

1) Diversity operates much like a brand new car. If you get behind the wheel without reading a manual or book, you significantly increase your risks of having a mishap, breakdown or accident.  You’re the driver so don’t blame the car. Practice makes perfect as we begin our journey toward a multiracial America.

2) Contrary to popular reports, diversity is not dead nor is it dying. Some folks have not yet visited their local dealership and so they don’t know how much the world has changed. We must let those who aren’t ready for a trade-in know that good things are in store for them and that we will watch out for their interests.

3) Diversity challenges exist in all communities. Race, religion and gender often steal the spotlight but they by no means are responsible for all our problems. We are a nation with layers and layers of diversity issues. We’ve got our cat lovers and dog people (pet diversity.) Bicyclists and walkers (lifestyle diversity.) Republicans and Democrats (political diversity.) Then, there’s race, religion, gender, age and on and on. Any time groups organize to advance their interests and compete for stuff, diversity-related problems will arise.

3) The safest motorists are also defensive drivers. They know how to share the road with newcomers, steer around the potholes of poor communication and avoid the barriers of ignorance.  They slow down whenever they encounter dangerous driving conditions, such as road rage, and take shelter during the inevitable storms of doubt and confusion. They dazzle us with their uncanny ability to predict what other motorists will do and say, and how they will respond to current conditions.

4) Each and every one of us has biases of some sort, so let’s stop pretending the other guy is flawed but we have 20-20 vision. The goal is to identify our biases and manage them so that they don’t impair our ability to make data-driven decisions. If you can’t identify your biases, then ask a friend or family to list them for you. Chances are your friend is well-aware of them. Biases create blind spots, which make it more difficult to drive.

5) We are all fellow travelers on a road that’s under construction. So expect delays and be on the watch for unexpected road hazards. Keep a safe distance from other motorists until you gain skill and experience.

6) Don’t try to teach someone else to drive if you’ve had a lot of accidents.

7) Road rage doesn’t make the roads safer. Angry drivers are not the solution; they are a big part of the problem.

8) Keep handy two of the most frequently used words in the diversity language: Ouch and oops. “Ouch, that hurt. Why did you say that?” “Oops. I goofed.” Keep these words with you at all times. They are particularly helpful following a cultural collision.

9) Be willing to get outside of your comfort zone. If you travel the same route every day, you will meet the same people and pass the same landscape. People who travel alternate paths end up with better options and more ways to get where they want to go.

10) Don’t think your car is better than mine. A fast sports car and an old jalopy both can get us where we must go. This is not a competition. The objective is not to arrive first or look the best, but rather to ensure we leave no motorist behind.

12) After a cultural mishap or collision occurs, refrain from gawking and rubbernecking. Mind your own business. Don’t sit on the side of the road and fan the flames after a cultural collision. It slows traffic and increases the risk of additional accidents.

13) If somebody should call the diversity police on you, remember they are here to help us become better drivers. The goal shouldn't be making us feel bad or look silly. Police are needed to prevent future accidents and more costly injuries.

14) Keep your eyes on the road. Don’t get distracted by all the colorful cars, interesting bodies or luxury interiors and gadgets. Forget about the way the other drivers are dressed. What matters is that they are safe drivers. Under the hood, we are all pretty much the same.

15) Have some fun along the way. Pull off to the side now and then to appreciate the breathtaking mosaic of American life. Stop at the rest stops to talk with other drivers. Change the stations on your car radio.

Why People Hate - And What To Do About It

Dear Cultural Coach: Whenever I read about hate groups or see their leaders on TV, it makes me angry. The actions of these few often give their neighbors, their communities, and even their families a bad reputation. Why do people hate? What can we do to eliminate it? - Hate Not

Dear Hate Not: Hate is an ugliness we should confront, but most of us prefer to ignore it until the day our particular group is under attack. I'm as guilty as anyone. Whenever possible, I shun associations with individuals, groups and organizations that promote hatred. I wish they would steer clear of me as well, but for some reason they seem to enjoy sending me cards and e-mails.

In life, people tend to judge us by the company we keep. My circle of friends indicates to others whether I am truly tolerant of differences, skilled at managing conflict, optimistic, considerate and well informed. So although I am willing to listen to people with hate-filled biases and prejudices and hear their stories, I make it clear to them that I do not consider their opinions to be my truth.

Now, let's get right to your question. Why do people hate? Since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, that question has been on the mind of a lot of folks, including President George Bush, who asked in a passionate speech to Congress shortly afterwards, ``Why do they hate us?'

Since every individual has a cultural filter, we might turn to science for answers. Over the past 10 years, neuroscientists studying the brain have probed the biology of hate. Rush W. Dozier, a Harvard-educated journalist and science writer, provides a glimpse into how hate arises and affects human behavior in his book, ``Why We Hate: Understanding, Curbing and Eliminating Hate in Ourselves and Our World' (Contemporary Books).

``Hate is a primitive emotion that marks for attack or avoidance those things that we perceive as a threat to our survival or reproduction, which are the prime directives of evolution,' Rush writes.

In other words, when we hate other people or groups we often are driven by fear.

``The reaction is automatic and stereotyped,' Rush contends. ``Similarly, someone filled with racial or ethnic hatred experiences immediate, irrational hostility whenever he or she encounters any member of the hated class - an Arab or Jew, Serb or Croat, black or white - irrespective of that particular individual's unique qualities or beliefs.'

Although this is not surprising, Rush goes on to argue that hate is a product of the brain's limbic system, which is programmed to carry out evolutionary imperatives of survival and reproduction.

So, if hate is wired into us, then how do we eliminate it? Rush offers several strategies for consideration:

First, we must learn to identify any source of anger, pain or threat with as much specificity and detail as possible. Avoid generalizations.

Second, when dealing with groups with whom we have little sympathy, develop an ``us-us' orientation, instead of ``us-them' approach. Avoid language that fosters conflict and divisions. Find the common ground by identifying what both communities have in common. When all else fails, we' can always agree to disagree.

Bias-Busting Techniques

 

 

Dear Cultural Coach:

“I have a friend who is bitter and full of hate. He constantly says things that hurt and offend other people. What can I do to get him to shut up?”                                                                              --Tired of Listening-- 

 

Dear Tired:

 While I understand your frustration, I actually think you are in the right place, at the right time.

As a friend, you must gently push the conversation into new territory. Listen to him and acknowledge legitimate hurts and fears. Don't allow him to cover the same ground again and again or to replay old film of past hurts. Invite him to move outside the comfort zone by introducing new facts and telling stories about cultural groups that contradict the stereotypes.

In one hour, you can do more than I can do in a day. Timing is everything. Wait for the right opportunity.  I've talked with many folks who have overcome prejudices because a friend loved them enough to bring this sticky, difficult topic up. Questions – not statements – are the most reliable tools for addressing racism, sexism and ageism. They unlock closed minds and - most of the time – nobody gets hurt.

Let’s say a young friend remarks one day that Asian students cheat, pointing to this as the reason they generally do well in school. The ball now is in our court. If we let the remark pass, team racism scores. If we ask the right questions, we add clarity and allow truth to emerge.

“How do you know students are cheating?” we might ask. Or, “What proof do you have?"

Once we demand facts or evidence from others, the entire conversation moves to a higher level. Participants are put on notice they need skill and knowledge to remain in this game. So now, they have to go out and do their homework.

If we are offered proof, then run, don't walk, to the principal's office. But don't yell, "The Asian American students are cheating." Hand over a list with all the names. Don't  convict the innocent just because they happen to look like someone who is guilty 

If your friend is blowing off a little steam, it is your duty to step in and protect the truth. We might say, " Without proof, there is not much we can do. However, I suggest we look at  everyone instead of focusing on the Asian Americans.  If we do not hold all students to the same high standards then we are guilty of discrimination.”

Now, let’s examine this problem from a different cultural angle. An African-American friend is making racially insensitive remarks about white Americans. “They don’t treat you right. They are evil,” our friend tells us. What should we do?

Well, we could get rid of the friend. While that restores harmony to our life, our friend has made us a party to her prejudice. Stay and fight for truth. First, demand proof whenever the friend starts  complaining about this community of evil doers. "Where did you get your information from. Who is your source?"

If the friend has a valid grievance against an individual, then help her to see that is but one drop of water in an ocean of injustice. We might ask if he or she has met any white Americans who have gone out their way to do something good for her. We might share some personal encounters to show friendships and good relationships are possible. We might say, "Good people and bad people are found within every cultural group. When the good folk finally figure out how to unite across the divides, the world will change for the better."

Let’s review this week's bias-fighting techniques:

1)    Support family and friends though take aim at their prejudices. Challenge them by demanding proof or evidence to support their claims.

2)    Be prepared to offer new facts into evidence. Cite sources your friends and family trust. 

3)    Ask questions that force others to rethink their cultural beliefs and assumptions. Avoid making statements or offering strong opinions.

4)   Use examples and stories that are universal. We might ask: "Would it Is it fair to judge an entire family by the deeds of one child who went to prison?  If it is not, it is fair to judge a community by the acts of a few members?"