Cultural IQ

If Diversity Turned Into A Game, What Level Would You Be?

Some companies make diverse workers feel supported and welcome, while others send conflicting signals that stir anger and resentment. The mission statement of the company may say that it embraces diversity, yet none of the photos in the building or marketing materials reflect the organization's rich diversity.

Over the years, I have worked for companies with authentic diversity messages and for those that were a work in progress. From those experiences, I've identified four levels that great companies reach in their journeys toward competency:

Level One: Resistant Learner

This stage is the hardest to exit. It is natural for individuals within companies to push back against change. Baby steps may be needed when there is no consensus or pain yet. I found it helpful to catch colleagues getting it right. Send brief notes praising colleagues with cultural acumen or cultural competence. Soon, you have a movement.

Level Two: Curious Explorer

Where do we go for help? Who can we call? At this stage, I found it helpful to do a test drive. Develop a small pilot program, and monitor the results. Call in the experts.

Level Three: Critical Thinker

Anticipate the responses to these new ideas. Before you do, listen to the people who dread change. Adopt language that addresses their specific concerns.

Level Four: Champions

Reward workers who lead by example and show colleagues how to get it right. People pay closer attention to cultural competence when they realize it can bring higher sales, more money, and a better job.

 

Naval Officer Eliminates Diversity Programs, Creates Unity Training to Bring Ship Together

 

 

 

Every now and then, somebody offers a bold new idea that seems a bit risky.

If we open our minds and listen, we might just learn something.

In his book “It’s Your Ship: Management Tips from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy” Captain D. Michael Abrashoff, former commanding officer of the USS Benfold, offers lessons learned as he built morale and a top-performing ship. 

In these stormy economic seas, who among us doesn’t have a vessel or at least a leaky boat that is in need of repair?

Some of his tips we’ve heard before: understand yourself first, praise your people, remember little things like birthdays, care about human issues and programs, build up people and recognize their achievements. The section of the book involving diversity is anything but standard operating procedure, however. His strategy there is likely to raise some eyebrows.  

Abrashoff felt diversity programs were dividing his team – rather than bringing them together. So he did a little reengineering. Rather than focus his message on differences, he focused on building unity.

This enabled him to discuss human similarities rather than racial and gender differences, and to create an organization that seeks to remove barriers for all. The objective was simple: Create a high-performing team  and an organization so good EVERYONE wants to belong. This is a change of pace from standard diversity programs, which tend to be supported by the folks who feel they will gain something and opposed by the folks who feel they stand to lose. The perception that diversity creates winners and losers has resulted in resentment, friction, and diversity fatigue. 

So here’s the Abrashoff alternative: He focused on building unity rather than diversity. (Keep in mind, representational diversity was not an issue on the ship.)

The Captain assumed full command of unity training, which sent a signal to all that this matter was of vital importance. He stressed why his team’s members should value each other instead of focusing on the costs of devaluing them. He made it clear: the ship had a zero tolerance policy for prejudice and sexual harassment. When incidents occurred, he responded quickly and dispensed justice fairly, keeping in mind the background of individuals. 

Did things get better? Abrashoff says yes. Surveys filled out by employees indicated some had a change of heart, he writes in his book. He discovered everyone wanted to be part of a team that truly cared about its members. And that they were willing to pay the price to get in. He learned it is better to create opportunities for interactions and learning rather than simply highlight cultural shortcomings and deficits.

I would argue the diversity backlash building in America is voicing strong disapproval of classic diversity strategies and messages. New thinking can and should be embraced. As Abrashoff found, skeptics might just embrace diversity if we show them they can end up as winners too.

 

Changing a Culture that Breeds Hate

 

   

 

 

Communication Objectives & Goals:

•  Challenge opinions, prejudices and biases that are being presented as truth or fact.
• Ask questions that encourage peers to re-examine their own positions.
•  Speak to converse, not to convert.
•  Promote discussions that lead to breakthroughs and discovery by relying upon facts, data and research.

Strategies That May Help:

• Offer a proposal. (I propose that I read your favorite book and you read my favorite book.)
• Ask a question. (Where did you get your information? Who is your source?)
• Listen and take time to acknowledge what you have learned. (You have helped me to understand your pain or anger.)
• Actively look for agreement and common ground.
• As often as possible, discuss what you stand for …. (Israel is a nation that values freedom, self-empowerment and community. It seeks full membership in the world community and freedom from violence so it may use its intelligence and talents outside of the military arena. We want what other nations want: peace and security.
• Share a personal story that helps others to understand you.
• Accept that opposing views and arguments may be valid. You can understand, or validate, another’s point of view without adopting that point of view.
• If you do not recognize this, you may lose points for credibility. (Example: When I see the suffering of the Palestinians on television, I am deeply moved.)
• Use humor when appropriate (I can’t hear you when you are yelling at me.)
• Seek clarification. (Help me to understand.)
• Enlist the help of your allies. (I’m calling on my neighbors for help. Anybody? Community, where are you?)
• Hold speakers accountable for the information they introduce into the conversation (Who is your source?)
• Encourage evidenced-based decision-making. (Where did you get your information? Who is your source?)
• Use examples that can be easily understood by those who are not familiar with your culture or religion. 
• Choose language that works well with the moderates. Don’t frame your messages for those on the extremes. Aim your words at the undecideds and the individuals on the sidelines. Persuade them to get involved.

Strategies That May Divide:

• Yelling!
• Claiming to be a victim or playing the race card.
• Name-calling. (racist, sexist, anti-Semitic)
• Speaking for an entire community or cultural group.
• Refusing to acknowledge or validate other viewpoints.
• Misleading others or withholding parts of the truth.
• Stereotyping people because of race, religion, sex or political beliefs.

Minimizing Risks:

• Start out slow. Ask questions and offer proposals. Introduce positive language into the conversation. Don’t jump in the middle of a heated fight before you are ready. Practice.

• Safe Phrases

• I hear so much better when people aren’t yelling at me.
• Let’s agree to disagree.
• Ouch, Oops.
• Where did you get your information?
• Who is your source?
• I embrace evidenced-based or data-driven decision-making.
• That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
• I am stuck because your words made me feel (angry, hurt, sad, emotional).  Can you find another way to explain it?
• Tell me your story. What happened to make you feel this way?

Powerful Responses:

• Thanks for exercising your right to disagree.
• Your ideas enrich this debate.
• I’m listening.
• Thanks for giving me (or my views) a fair hearing.
• Help me understand.
• You’ve given me much to think about.
• I see how you arrived at that conclusion. Might I put another option on the table?
• I’d like to make a proposal.
• My goal is to learn something new everyday.
• You made an interesting point. Can you explain further?
• We all are travelers in the same leaky boat.
• Let’s create a safe place to have a conversation. 
• I gladly accept information that comes from sources who use scientific research techniques.

Transformational Phrases in Public Communication 

• Is it possible that we are wearing our cultural shades? 
• Though I have biases, I work hard to manage them.
• I acknowledge your issues and concerns.
• If I understand your position better we can create more options and opportunities for us both.
• I stand for (insert a word such as America, democracy, freedom, prosperity, inclusion.)
• Words cannot hurt me unless I allow it.
• Is it possible that there is some truth in both our positions? How do we make that determination? How do we proceed?
• Disagreement and conflict measure the extent to which we are truly free.
• Can we agree to create a safe place for this conversation?

"We must choose to live as a united people rather than as a divided nation"

Linda S Wallace

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quick Tips for Getting Through Those Holidays

• Care about all humans on the planet, not just those who look like you.
• Learn to accept opposing viewpoints. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Both can be true at the same time.
• Take one action each day to make outsiders feel included and welcomed.
• Treat others as they wish to be treated, not as we would have them treat us.
• Surround yourself with lifelong learners, not folks who are stuck in their own views and unable to move forward.
• Always challenge your own biases and beliefs before you work on helping others with theirs. Biases are like crumbs swept under the kitchen table. People aren't going to accept housekeeping advice from you if your crumbs are distracting them.

Can Dogs Teach Their Humans New Tricks?

 

 

People come into our lives to teach important lessons and, if we are lucky, so will a dog.

Our furry friends can show us how to love unconditionally, get through to those who speak new languages and understand how to become a better friend and neighbor.

My late dog, Gabby, was a master teacher. Among the crucial lessons she left behind:  When people talk, tilt your head to one side and listen. Always jump up and down when friends arrive. Use gestures and words that your intended audience can embrace and understand. Fight fair. Show empathy even when you really don’t have a clue as to what’s really going on. Forgive the people who yell at you. When under attack, roll over on your back and wiggle your legs until somebody comes up with a better plan. Color and size don’t matter when it comes to choosing friends. When new dogs arrive at the park, sniff and growl all you want but let them in. The park doesn’t belong to you.

Though I facilitated diversity workshops for many years, Gabby provided more powerful lessons than any book or workshop ever could. In fact, over the years, her responses to our challenges generated the most thoughtful and meaningful conversations at my workshops.

Gabby had a knack for making dispirited strangers, and other dogs, feel special. It wasn’t always that way. When we first became a newly committed couple, she was stubborn, willful and even a little mean. Chow Chows are known to have a real attitude.

In the beginning, during walks, Gabby lunged at other dogs and babies in strollers, she buried my things in the back yard, took the food from her bowl and spread it around the kitchen, and tugged on the leash so hard I fell over. I was looking for a dog that would go fetch the morning paper and help me to meet cute guys. What I got was Gabby, a dog that wanted to be in charge.

I considered taking her back to the shelter.  But something inside of me kept telling me to try one more time. One day, I realized that she craved praise, more than treats or anything else I was using to motivate her.  The more I fussed at her, the more desperate and angry she became.

It dawned on me that instead of correcting her bad behaviors, I should begin each walk with praise. I’d say: “Hey, Gabby do the good dog walk today. You are so smart. I know you can do it.”

Corporate managers are taught in Management 101 to understand the importance of catching workers getting it right. Yet, when it comes to diversity, CEOs and diversity advocates often do just the exact opposite. We catch the people making mistakes, then punish and embarrass them.

 What if I had done that to my dog?

How much time do we currently invest trying to identify the people within organizations who understand diversity the best, and are leveraging it to get top sales, create innovative products and generate the most website clicks? What if, rather than ganging up on those who are stubborn, willful and dug in like Gabby, we identify the doctors, lawyers, police officers, politicians, and journalists getting it right, and we begin to probe their techniques and strategies,  and share their insights.  We yell it from the roof tops and put it on the front pages and evening news.

This, I know: You can’t master core cultural competencies during a series of two-hour diversity workshops. An article in the Harvard Review on Why Diversity Programs Fail, suggests the positive effects of diversity training rarely last beyond a day or two, and a number of studies suggest that it can activate bias or spark a backlash.

We humans, and our dogs, develop advanced cultural expertise by taking in the cues we receive from strangers, making mistakes, and then figuring out how to do better.

Making mistakes is a crucial part of the growth process. Ask any dog.

So let’s afford our fellowman the same dignity we give our pets. Let’s use our “good dog” tone when discussing diversity issues instead of trying to jockey for position or lifting ourselves by demeaning others. Let’s use words and concepts that a skeptical audience, or dog, might hear instead of language like “wokeness” and “racial reckoning” that terrify the very folks we seek to reach.

Experience has taught me that we can advance diversity and inclusion much faster by catching culturally competent people in the act, and then explaining why and how they have succeeded. Give them an extra day off. Award them a bonus. Send hand-written notes of encouragement. Elect them to Congress or as Mayor.

As for those in our families and among our friends who lag behind? Well, I recommend that we tilt our heads to the side and listen, before we speak.

That’s what my Gabby would do.

The Danger Of a Single Story

There is danger in telling a single story.

 

On a walk a few years ago, my dog Gabby was attacked by a much larger dog.

Your instinct is to do whatever you can to protect a loved one. I tried to get inbetween Gabby and the much larger dog.  The doggie commands I had learned in dog obedience school were not working. 

During the struggle, I fell to the ground, and Gabby fell on top of me. The dog was biting her as she lay on top, protecting me from attack. I'll never forget the look of love I saw in Gabby's eyes at that moment.

 We were fortunate because a friend of the dog's owner was able to gain control of the dog. The owner, who was also my neighbor, drove us to the animal hospital so Gabby could have surgery. And he waited by my side until we got the news she would be OK.

I later learned my neighbor's wife had just died. He had spent that morning cleaning out her closets. The dog that attacked had belonged to her, and the animal was grieving her loss. The husband was a  novice who couldn't yet read or understand doggie behaviors. 

There is a danger in telling a single story. If I had only told you that my dog had been attacked, you might have taken a very different view of this incident. 

 As we collect more and more pieces of the puzzle, truth emerges.

US Military Utilizes New Type of Strength

 

What does the US Army expect of its 21st-century  troops? Cultural literacy, a set of new skills and abilities outlined below.

Here's the million-dollar question: If the Army expects enlisting soldiers to be culturally competent, should colleges and universities expect the same from their graduates?

 

 

US Army Definition of Culturally Literate Soldiers :

-Understand that culture affects their behavior and beliefs and the behavior and beliefs of others.

-Are aware of specific cultural beliefs, values, and sensibilities that might affect the way they and others think or behave.

-Appreciate and accept diverse beliefs, appearances, and lifestyles.

-Are aware that historical knowledge is constructed and, therefore, shaped by personal, political, and social forces.

-Know the history of mainstream and nonmainstream American cultures and understand how these histories affect current society.

-Can understand the perspective of nonmainstream groups when learning about historical events.

-Know about major historical events of other nations and understand how such events affect behaviors, beliefs, and relationships with others.

-Are aware of the similarities among groups of different cultural backgrounds and accept differences between them.

-Understand the dangers of stereotyping, ethnocentrisms, and other biases and are aware of and sensitive to issues of racism and prejudice.

-Are bilingual, multilingual, or working toward language proficiency.

-Can communicate, interact, and work positively with individuals from other cultural groups.

-Use technology to communicate with individuals and access resources from other cultures.

-Are familiar with changing cultural norms of technology (such as instant messaging, virtual workspaces, E-mail, and so on), and can interact successfully in such environments.

 

 

Life's Little Diversity Manual: How to Get Where We Need to Go

  

 

1) Diversity is much like a brand-new car. Navigating diversity without understanding its nuances can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, or even accidents.  You’re the driver, so it's crucial to learn how to navigate effectively. As with driving, practice and understanding make perfect as we embark on our journey towards a more diverse and inclusive society.

2) Contrary to popular reports, diversity is not dead or dying. Instead, it is evolving, bringing with it a wealth of opportunities and experiences. We must reassure those not ready for a trade-in that good things are in store for them and that we will watch out for their interests. They have good reason to feel that they are getting left behind.

3) Diversity breakdowns occur in all communities. Race, religion, and gender often steal the spotlight, but they by no means are responsible for all our problems. We are a nation of diverse cultures stitched into a colorful community. We’ve got our cat lovers and dog people (pet diversity.) Bicyclists and walkers (lifestyle diversity.) Republicans and Democrats (political diversity.) Then, there’s race, religion, gender, age, etc. Any time groups organize to advance their interests and compete for stuff, diversity-related problems will arise.

3) The safest motorists are also defensive drivers. They know how to share the road with newcomers, steer around the potholes of poor communication, and avoid the barriers of ignorance.  They slow down whenever they encounter dangerous driving conditions, such as road rage, and take shelter during the inevitable storms of doubt and confusion. They dazzle us with their uncanny ability to predict what other motorists will do and say and how they will respond to current conditions.

4) All of us have biases, so let’s stop pretending the other guy is flawed, but we have 20-20 vision. The goal is to identify and manage biases so that they don’t impair our ability to make mutually beneficial decisions.  If you can’t identify your biases, ask a friend or family to list them for you.. Chances are your friend is well aware of them. Biases create blind spots, which make it more challenging to drive, but together, we can navigate them.

5) We are all fellow travelers on a road that’s under construction. So expect delays and be on the watch for unexpected road hazards. Keep a safe distance from other motorists until you gain skill and experience.

6) Don’t try to teach someone else to drive if you’ve had a lot of accidents.

7) Road rage doesn’t make the roads safer. Angry drivers are not the solution; they are a big part of the problem.

8) Keep handy two of the most frequently used words in the language of inclusion: Ouch and Oops. “Ouch, that hurt. Why did you say that?” “Oops. I goofed.” Keep these words with you at all times. They are accommodating following a cultural collision. Encouraging open communication is a powerful tool in promoting understanding and inclusion.

9) Be willing to get outside of your comfort zone. If you travel the same route every day, you will meet the same people and pass the same landscape. People who travel alternate paths have better options and more ways to get where they want.

10) Don’t think your car is better than mine. A fast sports car and an old beater can both take us where we must go. This is not a competition. The objective is not to arrive first or look the best but to ensure we leave no motorist behind.

12) After a cultural mishap or collision occurs, refrain from gawking and rubbernecking. Mind your own business. Don’t sit on the side of the road and fan the flames after a cultural collision. It slows traffic and increases the risk of additional accidents.

13) Have some fun along the way. Pull off to the side now and then to appreciate the breathtaking mosaic of American life. Stop at the rest stops to talk with other drivers. Change the stations on your car radio.

 

 

 

Leading Conversations That Lift Us All

 Everybody's talking but is it taking the country or the global village anyplace new or different?

How many everyday dialogs identify pathways for new collaborations or new ways to view old challenges? Whether you are talking to others at an occupation or at a tea or coffee party, check out these guide posts and keep moving forward.

 Liberty Lights, as I call them, are ordinary people who made a commitment to leading community conversations online with grace, diplomacy and skill. They seek to engage neighbors and each other in efforts to increase community capacity, learn through mutual support and care, and create a tone and culture for holding meaningful dialogs.

1.  Ask powerful questions that seek to stimulate curiosity, unlock creativity and encourage others to examine their hidden assumptions, beliefs and biases. Transform dialogs into experiential learning opportunities. The questions below are designed to help you facilitate a thought-provoking conversation: Tell me your life story so I might better understand your beliefs. Who are you? (Explores partisan differences) Imagine we got it right. What steps did we take as a nation to reach consensus? (Helps stimulate creativity and curiosity) Could we take inventory of all the assets in our community and then decide how to bring the talents of those on the margins into the mainstream?  Where did you get your information from? Who is your source? (Demands accountability) As William Edwards Deming, the American statistician and management guru said, "In God we trust; all others bring data."

2.  Reflect on the following: What we know. What we don't know. What we don't know we don't know.

3.  Use universal sources that are likely to be accepted by broad audiences. Try to gather facts and statistics from a wide variety of news sources, books and experts. Sources must have credibility with the audience you seek to persuade. 

4.  Use words that inspire trust and develop avenues for collaboration and compromise. 

5.   Treat relationships as a form of currency: Maintain a diversified portfolio.

6.   Learn one surprising fact every day. Generously give away these gems to strangers. The more you share, the greater your return.

7.   Audit  your cultural assumptions and beliefs regularly to ensure they aren't limiting your ability to see truth or reality clearly.  

8.    When examining opponent’s arguments ask yourself: What is it they know that I don't know? 

9.    Embrace civility as a community and global investment strategy. As Mary Wortley Montagu says, "Civility costs nothing, and buys everything." We don't to agree but we ought to try to leave open the door to change.

 10.   Challenge a colleague's facts or conclusion, but never his or her character or grammar. 

11.  Refrain from using derogatory and offensive words that keep others from seeing how wise you are. 

12.   Model Cultural Competencies. Cultural competencies include: active listening, empathy, cultural awareness and knowledge, tolerance of ambiguity and more.

13.   Carry your culture into dialogs with you but don't let it hold you back. Keep in mind your beliefs, values and customs are but one book in the global library. Each volume offers fascinating life lessons. Individualists, who believe decisions should be based upon what's best for the individual, and collectivists, who believe decisions should be based upon what's best for the community, will often disagree. Combine both lenses, and a community gains a deeper understanding of the challenges.  

 Credits.: Making a Difference in Memphis Workshop 

Appreciative Inquiry: Asking Powerful Questions : Kansas Coalition Against Sexual And Domestic Violence