Cultural IQ

If Diversity Turned Into A Game, What Level Would You Be?

Some companies make diverse workers feel supported and welcome, while others send conflicting signals that stir anger and resentment. The mission statement of the company may say that it embraces diversity, yet none of the photos in the building or marketing materials reflect the organization's rich diversity.

Over the years, I have worked for companies with authentic diversity messages and for those that were a work in progress. From those experiences, I've identified four levels that great companies reach in their journeys toward competency:

Level One: Resistant Learner

This stage is the hardest to exit. It is natural for individuals within companies to push back against change. Baby steps may be needed when there is no consensus or pain yet. I found it helpful to catch colleagues getting it right. Send brief notes praising colleagues with cultural acumen or cultural competence. Soon, you have a movement.

Level Two: Curious Explorer

Where do we go for help? Who can we call? At this stage, I found it helpful to do a test drive. Develop a small pilot program, and monitor the results. Call in the experts.

Level Three: Critical Thinker

Anticipate the responses to these new ideas. Before you do, listen to the people who dread change. Adopt language that addresses their specific concerns.

Level Four: Champions

Reward workers who lead by example and show colleagues how to get it right. People pay closer attention to cultural competence when they realize it can bring higher sales, more money, and a better job.

 

Learning the Code of the Street Keeps Us Out of Harm's Way

 

When journalists visit City Hall, they rarely expect the mayor to stop everything for an on-the-spot interview. Instead, they set up an appointment. They befriend the administrative assistant. They build strong relationships to ensure they can get information when they need it quickly. Yet when venturing into communities of color, journalists often expect residents to stop what they are doing to help them, even though they are outsiders who look and speak differently.  When we do not show sources how much they are valued, they may shut down or get rid of us by telling us what they think we want to hear.

Failure to understand the code of the streets may put us and others in harm's way.

While serving as a national correspondent for the Philadelphia Inquirer, I was assigned to interview residents in a housing project in San Antonio after several single mothers had been shot and killed, prompting the mayor to hold a press urging residents to "cool it."  Then-U.S. Congressman Henry B. Gonzalez decided to hold a congressional hearing in the neighborhood to hear what residents had to say.

When I arrived, I immediately went to the community center where a young man was standing guard, looking very much like he was in charge.  I explained I was there to cover the hearing, and to discuss the conditions in the neighborhood. What was daily life like for the people who lived here? What type of barriers did they face? I was here to listen.

The young man declined an interview, though we chatted a bit. Less than a half hour later, I was walking the streets when a group of women rushed over. They explained that the drug dealers had sent out word that I was not a cop and it was OK to talk to me.  I later interviewed a courageous child who issued a plea to Congress to help protect the lives of their vulnerable moms.

After that, I never walked into a housing development without a plan. That experience taught me the importance of recognizing and understanding the roles people within a neighborhood play.  

Here are some of the lessons I've been given as I sought to improve my work and my communication skills: 

1) Ask for directions and engage with the community members. Take time to develop relationships. Visit barber shops and beauty shops for insights into the roles people play.  Talk to dog walkers. Visit with folks on their front porches. Check social media. 

2) Clearly state the purpose of the visit and seek help in understanding the neighborhood on a deeper level. Make it clear that they care about the people, as well as the story.

3) Leave behind contact information and assure residents of returning, showing commitment.

4) Dress appropriately for the neighborhood to signal respect and understanding.

5) Show respect and give respect in interactions with the community members. That simple gesture unlocks extraordinary and unforgettable experiences. While walking around a new neighborhood one day,  a group of teens came from behind me and surrounded me. I smiled and looked directly into the eyes of the young man who appeared to be in charge. "Gentlemen, how are you this morning?,"  I inquired. The teens laughed. Mr. In-Charge curtsied and then replied, "Milady." He then helped me to step over a puddle - a gallant act of chivalry. We laughed and went our separate ways. 

 

 

 

How to Have A Difficult Conversation Where Everyone Wins

While riding a crowded subway to work, I sat next to a man who was anti-immigrant. He ranted publicly about 'those people' sneaking into the country, and the chaos they bring. 

Most folks cast their eyes away from him  I was seated next to him.

"I happen to see it differently," I said in a calm voice. "I happen to value diversity, and the fresh perspectives and new skills that each group brings to this nation." 

He was pleasantly surprised by my tone so a deeper conversation began. I would discover that the man was a cancer survivor who was returning to work for the first time in months. We both had big days ahead of us, though for different reasons.  He was nervous about coming back to the office and the reception he might receive. I had a big media event to handle at my college.

As we talked about the challenges we were about to face, we bonded briefly. Our collective sense of dread and uncertainty had provided an opening where we could be fellow human beings rather than political opponents.  <.

I have often thought about my seatmate, and how differently that conversation might have gone had I reacted to his comments by yelling at him, canceling him, or provoking an argument.

We both made the decision to simply acknowledge and accept each other's beliefs, rather than attempt to score points for our side Everybody on that train ended up with a nicer commute and, let's hope, a more productive day.

It is possible to disagree and yet still thrive.

 

As Americans flock to see the film Civil War, anguish and silence fill the air

After watching 'Civil War' in Philadelphia yesterday, I was struck by the eerie silence and anguish on the faces of the movie goers. It was a somber moment.

The film's cautionary message was clear: a civil war is made up of many isolated battles, and Americans, whether in uniform or not, will struggle to maintain their humanity. 

The ugliest battles took place off the battlefield, not over values or principles, but in combat solely designed to determine a community's winners and losers. 

 The racial fault lines were not a part of the plot as soldiers appeared united in a shared desire to destroy and kill. 

This is an unsettling movie with an uncomfortable message: Neither extremists nor their guns can save our Republic and protect our democracy.

If we begin to hold conversations that are civil and painfully honest, it will give us a fighting chance.

In A World Full of Hate, Be A Light

Every now and then, in the midst of darkness or despair we might encounter a bright light. It might be a street light offering security, a person providing comfort, or a happy dog that greets us warmly.

I encountered a bright light last weekend while having breakfast in a neighborhood restaurant. A fellow diner and I exchanged pleasantries, and that conversation turned into a dialogue about life, grief and loss, God and my African American ancestors.

Mary told me she had trained to be a lawyer and a teacher during her career.  Though she was retired, she moved like electricity in motion, with an energy level so high that she could lift the spirits of strangers around her.  A European American with deep roots in African American culture, Mary had joined a Black church when she was younger, where she found a religious advisor who was connected to the spiritual world.

 “I hope you don’t mind me saying this,” Mary said.  “You are surrounded right now by spirits, and the spirits want you to know that you are not alone. One spirit, in particular, wants me to give you a message: Remember, anyone with a purpose in life, who is heading toward a destination, will suffer and face hardships. “

I understood immediately who the message was from, and why it arrived now.

Throughout my life, strangers often have approached me to share poignant stories. More than three decades ago, I met a harried woman at Houston Hobby airport just days before Christmas.  She was waiting for her children's flight to arrive. The family was being reunited after a long separation.

That happiest woman in the airport told me she could not wait to see her kids though she wondered if they would be disappointed that she could not afford to buy them gifts. I was moved to help. I gave her the money I had set aside  for Christmas outings. 

Many of my friends told me afterward they thought the woman was a scam artist. A few weeks later, the same woman called the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Houston Bureau, where I worked.  She told me about her amazing Christmas, and said she had a story that might interest me. The woman was a teacher, and she had asked her pupils to write letters to President George Bush to advise him on the Gulf War. The letters were hysterical. The children advised him to get lots of sleep, worried that his hair was turning gray, asked about Barbara Bush, and provided sound practical advice.

President Bush had written them back on White House stationary to thank them, and let them know he was ok.

I went to the school to interview her class and see the letters; the story was prominently featured in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

On any given day, the light we see could be artificial warmth cast by a scam artist, or it might be an human who has been called to speak to us and connect.

Move toward the light. 

Naval Officer Eliminates Diversity Programs, Creates Unity Training to Bring Ship Together

 

 

 

Every now and then, somebody offers a bold new idea that seems a bit risky.

If we open our minds and listen, we might just learn something.

In his book “It’s Your Ship: Management Tips from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy” Captain D. Michael Abrashoff, former commanding officer of the USS Benfold, offers lessons learned as he built morale and a top-performing ship. 

In these stormy economic seas, who among us doesn’t have a vessel or at least a leaky boat that is in need of repair?

Some of his tips we’ve heard before: understand yourself first, praise your people, remember little things like birthdays, care about human issues and programs, build up people and recognize their achievements. The section of the book involving diversity is anything but standard operating procedure, however. His strategy there is likely to raise some eyebrows.  

Abrashoff felt diversity programs were dividing his team – rather than bringing them together. So he did a little reengineering. Rather than focus his message on differences, he focused on building unity.

This enabled him to discuss human similarities rather than racial and gender differences, and to create an organization that seeks to remove barriers for all. The objective was simple: Create a high-performing team  and an organization so good EVERYONE wants to belong. This is a change of pace from standard diversity programs, which tend to be supported by the folks who feel they will gain something and opposed by the folks who feel they stand to lose. The perception that diversity creates winners and losers has resulted in resentment, friction, and diversity fatigue. 

So here’s the Abrashoff alternative: He focused on building unity rather than diversity. (Keep in mind, representational diversity was not an issue on the ship.)

The Captain assumed full command of unity training, which sent a signal to all that this matter was of vital importance. He stressed why his team’s members should value each other instead of focusing on the costs of devaluing them. He made it clear: the ship had a zero tolerance policy for prejudice and sexual harassment. When incidents occurred, he responded quickly and dispensed justice fairly, keeping in mind the background of individuals. 

Did things get better? Abrashoff says yes. Surveys filled out by employees indicated some had a change of heart, he writes in his book. He discovered everyone wanted to be part of a team that truly cared about its members. And that they were willing to pay the price to get in. He learned it is better to create opportunities for interactions and learning rather than simply highlight cultural shortcomings and deficits.

I would argue the diversity backlash building in America is voicing strong disapproval of classic diversity strategies and messages. New thinking can and should be embraced. As Abrashoff found, skeptics might just embrace diversity if we show them they can end up as winners too.

 

On Easter Sunday, Philly Gets A Modern-Day Miracle

A man who was disheveled, and possibly homeless, walked into my Catholic church on Easter Sunday. Quite frankly, I cringed because I was afraid someone -  who harbored inner fears of people who look a bit different - might approach him and ask him to leave. You could smell the liquor quite a distance from him.

I watched as the man stood quietly on the side of the aisles. He waited until the ushers came by with their baskets - seeking support for the church. Our visitor walked over to the usher and dropped a small coin in the basket. It was received with gratitude.

Wow.

Incidents like these serve as a reminder that no one can take our faith from us. Even if we had no place to worship, and no church leader to follow, we still can live our faith, and practice our religion. We can feed the poor. Help the homeless. Support equal access to fairness and opportunity. 

Lately, there has been a lot of concern that Diversity, Equity and Inclusion programs are falling by the wayside. I am not worried. No one can take our beliefs from us, or stop us from putting them into practice. In fact, the more we demonstrate our commitment to DEI, the faster we win this battle.

The most effective leaders are those who lead by example - not those who tear others down.

Our Sunday service guide contained a simple message for parishioners: If a homeless person walks over and asks for help, please direct the individual to one of the priests so they may assist them.

The most effective congregations are those who open the door wide to miracles - like the one I witnessed on Easter Sunday.

 

 

Creating A Safe Place Where Everyone Belongs

I love my eclectic neighborhood, in part because it gives me an opportunity to view life through differing lenses. This morning, two women are studying for exams in the comfy lobby. Neighbors sometimes gather to listen to music or watch TV on the big screen. The channels change constantly, reflecting the building's generational and racial diversity.

For the most part, neighbors greet and acknowledge one another.  When I first arrived,  I moved a lot my household goods on a garden cart wagon. My old apartment was just a mile a away. Instead of renting a car, I bought a wagon and walked my smaller items - including my cat- over to the new apartment. (Take that, climate change.)

As I entered my new building, looking a little like a bag lady, my new neighbors smiled and greeted me warmly. They didn't make assumptions because I had decided to move by wagon. Instead, they rushed to open the doors so I could get the cart inside. A few volunteered to help me carry heavy items.

Community safety is not a topic that can be left to the police to solve. It is the community's responsibility, and each of us has a role to play.

 Here are a few of the lessons I've learned from my neighbors.

1) Get to know your neighbors. Look out for them. Be available to help.

2) Be available for friends who are experiencing trauma or going through a difficult time. After my dog Gabby died,  friends reached out to me and listened to my endless supply of Gabby stories. I wouldn't have survived that loss without them. When people are showing signs of mental distress, try to listen without interrupting them. Offer encouragement. 

3) Put those car keys away and walk to the grocery store, pharmacy, or the park - if it is feasible The more pedestrians we have out on the streets, the safer we become. Stay in well-lit areas and on streets with other people. 

4) Remain aware of your surroundings. If you are looking down at your phone as you walk or ride the train, you become an easy target. 

5) We need fewer guns and more courage and compassion. A couple of decades ago, I was lugging around a lot of packages when these three teens approached from behind. I didn't see them but another passenger on the platform did. All of a sudden I heard this calm yet booming  voice behind me: "I wouldn't do that if I were you," a man said to the teens. He went on to tell them that he had made a mistake when he was young, and had paid for it dearly. "I don't want that to happen to you," he said. They looked at him, then walked away from me. He created an opening for them to save face, and they took it. 

6) Have a walking buddy. It could be a dog, or a person.

7) Look at people approaching you in the eyes. Don't look down or glance away.  Muggers are less likely to attack someone who took a long look at their face. 

8) Let's resolve to stop limiting our safety concerns to our own neighborhoods. Find ways to support communities that are facing the greatest struggles with hopelessness, fear and violence. In the long run, those compassionate actions and sacrifice can accomplish more than adding guards at the corner. 

9) Be a champion for all of Philadelphia's children. It should not matter if you are related to them.

10) Support the greater good, not just your own financial interests. 

 

 

Recognizing the Barrier Breakers Who Fly Under the Radar

 

While grocery shopping  this week, I met a handsome, personable African American man at my neighborhood Giant who asked me if I was a celebrity, either an actor or musician. I’m still smiling. I actually blushed. As you age, people don't always see you.  You become invisible.

Most of the time,  African American youth are employed as security guards at the front of the retail stores. It is so rare to see them working behind cash register and interacting with customers. And this store was in a predominantly white area.

We chitchatted about my purchases (plants and flowers) and about the New Year. He was confident, and so friendly. I was in awe. I could tell he was nervous. But he found the language to connect with me, and the customers in line behind me. 

 When he got hired, there was no announcement on the news. Yet this young man is breaking down barriers. He may not have looked like a Jackie Robinson or Arthur Ashe, but his breakthrough was important to all the youth seeking access to opportunity.                                                                                                                                 

Being the first in your community, religion or cultural group to hold down a particular job, no matter what the occupation, is difficult and it often is accompanied by heavy responsibilities.  If you fail, the door sometimes shuts behind you and no one else can get in.

I encounter barrier breakers all across our city. There is the young white woman who rides the bus into the impoverished neighborhood each day to support the people living there. The affluent student who is taking the first two years of college classes at a community college to gain cultural competence. The kinship care givers who raise and support other people’s children. The friends who visit each other churches to experience various religions.

 Typically, the people we honor typically have titles, or large incomes, or glamourous jobs.  What if we also honored the barrier breakers who change the world by taking risks and striving for excellence?

I am reminded of the story I found a few years ago about a customer in a bakery who left a $50 tip for a clerk who had engaged him in a conversation about quantum physics. He encouraged her to use it to return to college and complete her education. She  enrolled in Community College of Philadelphia that same week, and, and a couple years later, won hundreds of thousands of dollars in scholarships enabling her to transfer to an elite school.

 It turns out, the generous man who gave away that tip was just visiting Philadelphia. He, however, knew just what to say.

The messages we send to the youth in this city really matter. Read the article by Susan Snyder here: 

Let's become the next good Samaritan to change a life.

 

 

Treaty Oak: The Texas Tree That Lived Because It Was Loved

As a reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, I was sent to Austin to cover the Treaty Oak, a majestic, historic tree that had been poisoned by some guy trying to cast a spell.

When I arrived in town, the tree was gasping for life. Experts said the tree had received enough poison to kill 100 trees. They marveled at its strength and resilience.

People from all over the world were gathering on site to drop off get-well cards and home-made cures. Visitors huddled together and prayed under the part of the tree that was still green. (The other side of the tree had been blocked off from the public.)

Remarkably, the mighty Treaty Oak survived. The section of the tree where visitors were allowed to gather and pray, defied the odds and lived. It even produced acorns again.

The other portion - blocked off from well-wishers and human touch - died.

Never underestimate the power of prayer, human compassion and love.
Imagine if we all went out this holiday season and helped someone struggling to stay alive. Let us love our neighbors in the way we might love a magical tree.

Quick Tips for Getting Through Those Holidays

• Care about all humans on the planet, not just those who look like you.
• Learn to accept opposing viewpoints. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Both can be true at the same time.
• Take one action each day to make outsiders feel included and welcomed.
• Treat others as they wish to be treated, not as we would have them treat us.
• Surround yourself with lifelong learners, not folks who are stuck in their own views and unable to move forward.
• Always challenge your own biases and beliefs before you work on helping others with theirs. Biases are like crumbs swept under the kitchen table. People aren't going to accept housekeeping advice from you if your crumbs are distracting them.